Page 41 of Strict Confidence (Rochester Trilogy 2)
“They didn’t change everything about it,” Jane says. She sits down on her footstool and picks up the first piece. “See? Here’s the shoe and the top hat.”
Paige tests them in the palm of her hand. “They don’t feel right.” Her cheeks get red, and Jane puts a hand on her elbow. “They don’t feel right at all. I think they’re different. They’re too different. Look at this, there’s a dinosaur. There shouldn’t be a dinosaur in Monopoly.”
“It’s hard when things aren’t the way we expected,” Jane says. “You wanted the pieces to be the same, but this isn’t your old game. This one’s new, and it has different parts. But the rules are still the same. We’ll still have a fun time playing together.”
“I don’t want it like this,” Paige says, but her voice stays quiet. She’s not preparing to scream. Instead she takes a breath in through her nose and lets it out through her mouth. “The pieces are different.”
Jane smiles at her, pride shining on her face. “But the rules are still the same.”
“Okay,” Paige says. “Okay.” She puts the shoe and the top hat on the board and looks over the cards, seeming to take comfort in the familiar colors and names of the properties.
I take a seat on the couch and Jane pulls up a footstool to the other side of the table. Paige stands at one end, and we set up the board. Paige is the banker, naturally. And the little silver top hat. She decides that I’ll manage the real estate cards. That leaves Jane to control the little green houses and red hotels. I pick the battleship and Jane picks the cat. She nudges the dinosaur out of sight. Paige has had enough change for the time being.
Paige rolls the dice on her first turn. “This is what families do,” she says, her voice carefully nonchalant. “They play games together. We’re like a family.”
Jane’s eyes meet mine from across the table, and then she’s looking back at Paige. “It is kind of like a family. How do you feel about that?”
“I like it,” Paige admits, and my heart clenches.
The truth is I like it, too. More than is safe for me to admit.
Paige rolls first. She lands on Chance. The orange card allows her to advance to the nearest railroad. That puts her on Pennsylvania Avenue. “I don’t know,” she muses. “Railroads are tough because there’s no way to build houses even if you get a monopoly.”
“You could pass,” Jane says.
“I’d buy it,” I say because I’m more comfortable spending this bright paper money. I’m also more comfortable spending real green money. Jane’s much more nervous about spending. And Paige? She’s strategic. She focuses on building monopolies.
Jane rolls next. She lands on Oriental Avenue, where she pauses to look at her money and consider the cost, but ultimately decides to buy it.
“Are we a family?” Paige asks.
Jane’s hand freezes on its way to take the card with the pale blue strip for Oriental Avenue then keeps going. “Beau’s your family,” she says, keeping her tone light.
Kitten chooses this moment to run across the room and hop up onto the table in the middle of the board, knocking my battleship over. Jane picks the kitten up and deposits her back on the floor while I put my piece upright again.
On the outside, I probably look calm.
On the inside, I’m reeling.
Are we a family? I’m struck that Paige would ask the question. And I’m struck by how strong my desire is to say yes.
“What about you?” Paige looks between the two of us. “Are you like a mom and dad?”
Jane swallows. “We both take care of you. You can trust us and ask for help. That’s something we have in common with moms and dads.”
Her questions hit a deeper nerve.
Something I try to keep at the very back of my mind.
Paige might be my daughter. I might be her father. I’ve always known it was possible, based on when Emily visited me. When we slept together. Regardless, I thought she was better growing up with a real family—with Rhys and Emily. Sitting here with her now, I could convince myself that she’s mine. She looks a little like me. She has a temper like me.
She’s good with money like me, even if it’s Monopoly money.
I roll double fives, which puts me in the “Just Visiting” part of jail.
Paige watches my every move. If it were true, what would it even mean? Should I get a DNA test? Would it matter, since I’m already her guardian?
Even if I had the hard evidence, I could never tell Paige.
She always knew Rhys as her father. I won’t take that away from her.
It would hurt her, and the thought of causing her any more pain makes my chest ache. Having to witness her grief at losing her mom and dad was the hardest thing I’ve had to see. To find out Rhys wasn’t even her father would rival that. It would be like losing him twice.
