Page 50 of Rebel (Renegades 2)
He knew he needed to be the one to leave before she suggested it. He needed to leave her while she still wanted him. Which, by the way her hand was tightening in his hair, would be now.
Damn, this had to be one of the hardest things he’d ever done.
He broke the kiss and pulled out of her grip when she tried to pull him back to her mouth. Leaning away, he let the warm water wash the soap off her skin. “I’d better tuck you in and get home so we can both get some sleep. ”
The disappointment that flashed over her face shot a hot stream of panic down his chest. “You’re leaving?”
He lifted her by the waist while bending his knees to pull out of her. Sensation streamed over his cock, spread deep into his hips, and Wes groaned with the pleasure of it. “Do you usually have guys sleep over?”
She tilted her head to the side and looked up at him with the same alluring glance she’d used the other night at the club. “I never have guys sleep over. I’ve never even brought a guy here. ”
His chest tightened, and Wes’s breath left his lungs in a slow sweep. His mind warred—one side telling him he should stay and cinch that third link in a chain of firsts for her. Another voice whispered that leaving like this made their sex just sex, when he knew he wanted more. Yet another told him that if he wanted this to be different for her, different than her previous encounters with other men, she had to be the one wanting him again. He needed to maintain control—because she was the one who held it with every other man.
That didn’t calm his fear of leaving her alone to rationalize why they should never do this again. Or the sizzle of panic working its way over every nerve, urging him to stay.
He cupped her face and lifted her gaze to his. “What do you want, Rubi?”
Her hand stroked his shoulder, his bicep, her fingers curling around his forearm. Her face was flushed, her lids heavy, lips swollen. And he was growing hard again. Those beautiful eyes searched his. Then a furrow appeared between them, and she shook her head, her gaze dropping away. “I…don’t know. ”
His heart dropped. But it didn’t break. This was a minor setback. No big deal.
At least that was what he told himself.
He turned off the water, sidestepped her, and pushed the door to the glass enclosure open. Reaching for a cabinet, he found towels and pulled one out. Wrapping the fluffy terry around her shoulders, he used the ends to dry her body, kissing his way down until he was on his knees in front of her. Her belly was flat, that diamond stud sparkling in her dark skin. Her waist curved in, then flared gently at her hips. A tiny triangle of dark, cropped hair decorated her pussy. He couldn’t begin to put her physical beauty or sexual attractiveness into words. He only knew he could look at her forever.
Fuck. Walking out that door was going to kill him.
But he settled the towel around her shoulders and pulled another from the cabinet for himself. After drying off quickly, he pulled on his pants, tucking his new erection away with a wince.
Rubi chuckled. She had her towel tight around her body now, her arms crossed, the nail of one thumb between her teeth. And the kittenish grin she shot over his body almost took him back to his knees.
“I’ve got that ugly early call tomorrow,” he forced himself to say. “And sweetheart, you wrung me out. I’m going to head home. ”
He swung his arm around her shoulders and walked her out of the bathroom. As soon as they entered the bedroom, Rodie uncurled from his spot on Rubi’s bed and jumped down to follow. Wes put his hand down to pet his sleek head.
“I miss having a dog,” he said, trying to ignore how amazing he felt. How satisfied, how comfortable, how…high. He felt like Rubi was in his bloodstream.
“Why aren’t you pushing to stay?” she asked, her voice matter-of-fact. “The wild-child type isn’t as exceptional as you thought?”
He paused in the living room by the sofa and took her arms, turning her to face him. “Are you serious?”
Her gaze darted away, and she shrugged. “It’s not a secret that I’m not your type. Who knows what those sweet girls give you that I don’t. ”
Her show of insecurity was a sweet blow to his chest. “Rubi—”
“Friends, right?” She laid her warm palms against his belly and lifted her eyes to his again. A thin shell veiling her expression. “No hard feelings if you…if this…isn’t what you want. ”
Isn’t what he wanted? Wes’s brain tilted. What the…?
Then he searched her eyes again, and he saw it—vulnerability. Such deep vulnerability, Lexi’s words about Rubi’s childhood flooded back.
“The fact that she’s pushing you away tells me just how important you are to her. Maybe too important. ”
His chest constricted again, so strong it choked off his air. Still holding her arms, he dropped his head to get himself together. He wanted to jerk her against him and smother her with all the affection and attention she missed growing up. Yet, he was sure that would be the very quickest path to losing her.
When he met her eyes again, he could clearly see the brave front she’d pulled up, one thinly veiling hurt beneath. Her lips parted, and Wes knew what she was going to say. Knew what she was going to do. She was going to push him away out of fear.
He pressed his fingers to her lips. Took a deep breath. “You are more woman than all my others put together. Your sexual confidence is the ultimate turn-on. And it lets me feel just as secure, just as free. More open than I have with anyone. Ever. ” He grinned to lighten it up. “I’ve certainly never considered smearing ice cream all over a woman. ”
