Page 5 of You for Her (The Edge of Retaliation 2)
Because without her, I’d have absolutely nothing.
That thought is utterly terrifying.
“I’VE TRIED,” I SAY, slamming the laptop closed and looking to Jo. “It’s password protected and fingerprint protected. I can’t get into it. I’ve tried all the combinations I can and only managed to lock myself out for twenty-four hours. It’s so damned frustrating!”
“Okay,” Jo says, grabbing the laptop. “You’re going to leave this until tomorrow. I’ll get Caleb over to see if he can get into it for you. Until then, we’re going to drink and eat pizza and try to forget this nightmare that we’re currently living in.”
I stare at her, my body exhausted. I’ve been hiding at home for two days, trying to do as much research as I can. Trying to unlock the laptop, searching for Tanner and Andrea on Facebook now that I know their last names. It’s been chaos. I’ve managed to find information, though, pictures and status updates. I feel like I’ve swept into their lives and they don’t even know it. I went right back to the day Celia died, read their posts on Facebook, the love they seemed to share for their sister. It was heartbreaking.
It made me feel so bad for them, and I wondered if maybe, just maybe, they are acting out of pure pain and aren’t thinking clearly.
Then I tormented myself for having that thought because, dammit, they’re hurting me, and I’m still looking for a good enough reason as to why.
Something to justify it.
To make me feel like I deserve it.
I don’t, though. I don’t deserve it. I know what happened to Celia Yates was partially my fault, but I also know there is a secret out there that even they don’t know. That will unravel this whole thing. That will make them see that I’m not the monster here. I’ll find that secret, or at the very least prove to them and the rest of the world that I’m not the monster they think I am.
A knock sounds at the door and we both immediately turn to look at each other. Jo shakes her head and says, “If we’re quiet they’ll think we’re not home.”
“What if it’s Pat?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “He’s working.”
“Then who—”
“Callie?” Ethan calls through the door. “I know you’re in there. I’ve been calling for days. You need to talk to me.”
Oh, god.
Hearing his voice makes this all so real, it makes everything hit me right in the gut. The truth, the cold hard truth. I look helplessly at Jo. “The door is locked,” she tells me. “He’ll go away.”
“I’m not leaving,” he yells. “I know you’re home. Both your cars are there. You’re ignoring me, and I want to talk about it.”
Talk about the fact that he thinks I’ve found out the truth. Talk about the fact that he’s been in on this the whole time. Talk about the fact that he’s a god damned liar. Yeah, I’m sure he has plenty to talk about.
“He’s not going to leave,” I tell Jo. “I can’t face him, I’m not ready to lie. Not ready to put on a brave face. He’ll see right through me.”
“Honey, you might not get a choice. He knows we’re in here, he may very well stay there until we have to come out, and considering I’ve ordered pizza to arrive soon, we’re not going to be able to hide forever.”
My heart pounds against my ribcage, and I run my hands down my face, desperate to have an answer about what I should be doing right now jump out and become clear to me. Sadly, nothing is happening, and Ethan keeps pounding on my door.
“I can’t face him, Jo,” I whisper, dropping my hands to my side. “I can’t. I can’t do this.”
Jo steps forward, grabbing my shoulders. “Callie, you’re the strongest person I know. You’ve endured things that most people couldn’t even imagine in their worst nightmares. You’re tough and you’re resilient. You can face him, because you’re a god damned warrior, do you understand me?”
I swallow and take a deep, shaky breath. Then I nod.
“All you have to do is tell him you didn’t go into the house and that you’ve been sick,” she tells me. “That’s it.”
“He’ll see right through me; he’ll know I’m acting different.”
“Then you make something up,” she goes on. “You tell him you know he’s hiding something, you tell him you’re pissed because you’re confused, you tell him you’re sick of being tormented for Celia, you tell him anything you would have told him before, because it’s all true. You wouldn’t have thought twice about it, don’t now.”
She’s right. I have always been incredibly open and honest about my feelings with Ethan, which means anything less and he’ll know something is wrong. I take a deep, shaky breath, push all my emotions down, and walk over to the door, opening it. Ethan is just raising his hand to knock again but slowly lowers it when he sees me. His eyes narrow immediately and take me in, slowly dragging over my body. He’s wearing his work uniform, which tells me he’s obviously just finished. He crosses his arms and tips his head to the side.
