Page 52 of You for Her (The Edge of Retaliation 2)
“You’re having a hard time, it’s to be expected. You can’t put yourself through anymore, Jo. Not by starting something with Tatum that you can’t take back. Patrick isn’t the man for you, I think you need to end that even though I know the very thought scares you. If you don’t, and you start something with Tatum, it’ll cause a mess you can’t get out of.”
“I’m not this person, Callie,” she says, squeezing her knees in frustration and dropping her head. “I’m not the one who cheats on her husband. I’m not the one who hangs out with another man. I’m not the one who does any of those things. I’m just the woman who has found herself stuck, and then proceeded to meet a man that is everything. However, I can’t give him a damned thing.”
“Listen,” I say, grabbing her hands and removing them from her knees before she creates bruises. “You need some distance, okay? You need to start riding with Tanner and me, you need to avoid Tatum where possible. I’m not saying this because I don’t like him, because I actually kind of do, I’m saying this because I don’t want to see you lose everything. You’re in a fragile place and Tatum looks like a big, strong knight ready to sweep you off your feet. You need space until you get home, and then you need to figure out a way to end things with Patrick.”
“What if that’s not the right thing to do? I said I’d give our marriage a go and I’m not trying. I’m not trying at all …”
“You’re being too hard on yourself. Patrick isn’t the man for you, deep down you know that. You don’t love him, if you did you wouldn’t even be here on this trip with us. You need to start being honest with yourself, honey.”
She exhales and shuffles off the bed, standing. “You’re right. I will ride with you and keep my distance until I get home. You know the worst part? The thought of not talking to Tatum actually hurts me.”
Oh, yes.
She is in far deeper than I realized.
“I know,” I tell her, because it’s the truth. I do know.
It’s a horrible feeling.
She shakes her head, and then looks to me. “We need to take my mind off this. What happened with you and Tanner tonight? That was a crazy day, I was so worried about you.”
“I’m fine, it scared me but I’m fine. Tanner found me, we talked and … God, Jo, I slept with him.”
“You did?” she cries, rushing over and sitting back on the bed. “Why wasn’t this the first thing you told me?”
“We had other things to worry about.”
“Are you happy about it? Sad about it? How are you feeling about all of this?”
I shrug. “Honestly, at the time I wanted it more than anything. He was there, crying … God, he was crying, Jo. That big strong man, and it broke my heart. It made me realize just how much he’s hurting, too. Next thing I knew we were having sex. It was so intense, and it felt amazing, and then he told me after that he was looking for Celia’s rapists and I got upset. He got angry and left. I made a mistake. I’m always putting my foot in it when it comes to him.”
“Okay, first of all, you and Tanner have a lot of ugly behind you. Things that are bothering both of you, that will hang over your head until you get it all out on the table and deal with it properly. You’re not fully over the fact that he did what he did for so long, and he’s not over the fact that he was wrong and fucked up your life for no reason. It’s messy, you need time to deal with that.”
She’s right.
We do.
We really do.
“But it’s clear you two have feelings for each other. I think you just need to get through this before worrying about that. Let’s get Chase, let’s help Tanner find these men and make sure he comes home safely, and then you can work things out with him. Things on this trip are too heated right now, and they’re only going to get worse. Tension is high, we all need to just take a step back.”
“Why are you so wise?” I laugh.
She shrugs, smiling. “I was born this way. If only I could take my own advice, huh?”
I chuckle and we hug, long and hard.
I don’t know where I’d be without her.
Jo is my saving grace.
And she knows it.
16
I BLINK A FEW TIMES, my eyes hazy.
Someone is rattling around outside.
A door closed, and I can hear the truck outside the door being shuffled around in. Like someone is opening it and closing it. A light is shining through the window. I rub my eyes and glance over at Jo—she’s sound asleep beside me. I carefully slide out of bed and walk over to the window, peering out.
