Page 43 of You for Her (The Edge of Retaliation 2)
“No,” I whisper. “But he was a monster to me. I can’t just overlook that.”
“No, you can’t. You’re right about that, but it doesn’t mean you should be angry at the feelings you’re having.”
“He called me selfish tonight,” I tell her. “He said I’ve been so focused on me, and what happened to me, that I haven’t once stopped and thought about how they’re feeling, and what they went through. Do you think that’s true? Do you think I’m selfish?”
“No,” Jo tells me. “I think you’ve been to hell and back and you went away for a crime that wasn’t entirely your fault and you missed out on your best years because of it. Then you came out, trusted someone, and that someone hurt you in the worst way. I think you’re cautious. Not selfish.”
“Yeah,” I say, my voice a low whisper. “Yeah, maybe.”
“Look, you’ve had a long day, get some rest. Try not to think too much about what happened in there tonight. The truth is, both you and Tanner are going through something right now, let yourselves process that.”
I smile at her, and stand. “I’m going to take a shower. Thanks, lovely.”
She nods, and I disappear into the bathroom. I close the door and exhale, leaning against it.
Is she right?
Is he right?
Am I right?
Or are we all right, in our own way?
I just don’t know anymore.
13
“HE’S NOT ANSWERIN’,” Tatum says over breakfast the next day, with all of us sitting at a booth in the diner. “I know he’s freakin’ out.”
“How can you be so sure he’s still where you sent him?” Jo asks. “He might have moved on by now. Gone into hiding?”
“He might have, but I doubt it. As far as he knows I’m still the only one who knows where he is. I think he’s just panicking and has gone off the radar. Possibly changed his number. We’ll find him. I have other contacts. He isn’t the only one.”
Tanner stares down at his clenched fists.
He’s still hurt, still so deeply hurt, that his best friend in the whole world let him down. I know how that feels—it’s a god damned shitty feeling for anyone to experience.
“Don’t you fuckin’ worry,” Tanner growls. “We’ll find him.”
“You made a promise, Tanner,” Tatum adds, his voice rough. “I tell you where he is, and you don’t fuckin’ rip his throat out. Startin’ to think I can’t trust your word.”
Tanner’s head whips up. “Oh, like I can fuckin’ trust yours? I think we’re in the same boat, you’re just goin’ to have to believe in the person I am. God knows I can’t believe in the person you are.”
“He’s my fuckin’ brother,” Tatum hisses. “Would you have no done the same for Celia? If she fucked up.”
“Not if she fucked up like that,” Tanner barks.
Everyone in the diner stops eating and glances over at our table.
“Bullshit, you would have helped her, no matter what, yet you expect me to do no differently.”
“You could have helped him without fuckin’ betrayin’ everyone you love and letting an innocent girl go down for something that wasn’t entirely her fault.”
Oh, god.
Did he just call me an innocent girl?
My heart flutters, and I’m stunned, completely stunned.
“Like you can fuckin’ talk,” Tatum yells. “Don’t take the moral fuckin’ high ground here, Tanner. You tormented that girl; I didn’t force you to. You made that choice and yeah, I fuckin’ went along with it, because she meant fuck-all to me and Chase means everything, so I chose her to take it. I regret that now, but you don’t get to fuckin’ act like you’re any better than I am.”
Oh, god.
“That’s enough,” Ethan snaps, shaking his head. “We’re in a diner, people are watching. How long are you all going to go on about this for? Every one of us fucked up. Every single person at this table has made a mistake at one point or another, we just made a bigger one than most. You want to throw around who is worse? Do it somewhere else. We all let down people we love, for fuck’s sake. Grow the hell up.”
He stands and walks out, slamming the diner door so the bell clatters for far too long, sending a chiming sound through the diner for a few minutes. I glance at Jo, and she’s staring at Tatum, her face holding an expression I can’t quite figure out. I’m not sure if she likes him, hates him, or if she feels sorry for him. I guess I understand that. No matter what Tanner has done, my heart still aches when he speaks, my palms still sweat when he’s close, and my body still prickles when he touches me.
It’s hard, very fucking hard, to let go of those things.
“Okay,” I say, standing. “I think it’s time we get going.”
I turn and walk toward the door, but Tatum’s voice stops me. “Callie?”
