Page 33 of You for Her (The Edge of Retaliation 2)
She exhales as I disappear out the front door, walking to my car. What happened tonight, it was brutal. In a way that I didn’t expect. I thought of a million different reasons why Celia stepped in front of my car, but none of them compared to the truth. I’ve been thinking about her ever since, feeling a sick emptiness in my chest as I try to imagine what it was she was going through.
Going through alone.
Then my mind goes to Tanner, and the blow he got dealt tonight. It was hard, and it was cruel. He just learned that everything he believed in, is an utter lie. That the story he’s hung onto for so long, isn’t real. That his best friend, in the whole wide world, who he has trusted with his life, betrayed him.
I know how that feels, and it’s not good.
I also keep thinking about what he said to me, about me being happy now. Over the last few weeks, I have thought about this moment, and thought it would be exhilarating and fulfilling to finally uncover the truth. It turns out, the truth most certainly does not always set you free. If anything, it made me feel worse, it widened my wounds until they were gaping. It did little to make me feel better, to make me feel like my life was coming together again.
It made me feel even worse to realize that I am indeed as big a monster as Tanner.
I drive to Tanner’s house, getting out of my car and walking to the front door. I bang on it, breathing through some serious nervous energy. A moment later, Andrea answers. For a few seconds, we just stare at each other. I’m guessing she now knows what went down. Her eyes lock onto mine, and she says in a tired, broken voice, “What are you doing here?”
“I guess you heard what happened?” I say, my voice taking on the same tone.
“Yeah,” she murmurs, “I heard.”
Silence falls between us for a few moments. I don’t know if I should speak first, or if I should let her. There is so much to say, so many things to get out. I’m let down by the lie she created for me, and yet I don’t feel much anger towards her. Maybe it’s because I know she was doubting what was going on, or maybe because regardless of it all, she was really kind to me. Either way, she got dealt some pretty bad news tonight, too.
I’m not cold enough to just overlook that.
“Listen, I’m sorry. For what you found out tonight about Celia. For whatever it’s worth, my heart is breaking for you and your family at such horrible news. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, not ever.”
Her face scrunches in pain, and she whispers, “I didn’t know she was in pain. How could I not notice?”
“You’re only human, Andrea. Sometimes we don’t always see what’s right in front of us, believe me, I should know.”
“You would know,” she says, her voice filling with regret. “I know what we did was wrong. I’m sorry, for whatever it’s worth. It means nothing, but I do mean it. I really do. You’re a good person, Callie. I know that. You’re a good worker and a kind friend. I’m sorry.”
It’s worth little at this point, but I appreciate it all the same. I nod, letting her know I’ve heard her, and then I get right to the point.
“I need to speak with Tanner.”
“He’s not here,” she says, “I’ve tried calling him, but he won’t answer.”
I didn’t figure he’d be here, but it was worth a shot.
“Do you have any idea where he might be?” I ask, crossing my arms.
“I can give you a name of a few local bars, where you might be able to find him. I can’t be sure, though. He’s in a bad way.”
I nod, “That would be great.”
She tells me a few places, and I thank her. We stand in some more dragged out silence, our eyes locked. I’m not sure what I’m going to do now. If I have a job. If I even want a job. If I’ll ever speak to Andrea again. All I know is it’s going to take me some time to get over this pain. Maybe it’s best if I don’t go near her for a while.
“I should probably find another job,” I say, my voice low.
She closes her eyes, exhaling. “You don’t have to do that, but I understand why you’d want to. However, the job is still yours if you need.”
I appreciate that, too.
“Thanks. I should go.”
I turn and walk away.
“Callie?” Andrea calls, when I’m half way down the front path.
I turn and glance at her.
“He’s not a bad person. He’s a broken person, in a lot of pain, but he’s not bad. Go easy on him, please.”
