Page 3 of You for Her (The Edge of Retaliation 2)
I stand too, now. I reach out and take her shoulders. “I know you’re afraid for me, Jo, but I’m as clear as I’ve ever been. I’m going to twist their little game until they no longer know who’s playing. I’m going to make them realize that I’m strong, so much stronger than they could have ever anticipated.”
“You could be in danger …”
“Yes, I could be, but if I go and tell them all I know what they’ve done, do you think that means they’ll just stop? They’ve gone to this much trouble already, do you honestly believe that they’ll give it up?”
Jo looks hesitant, because I know she knows I’m right.
“I don’t like this; I don’t like any of this. Sleep on this, Callie. I beg of you.”
I nod. “I will.”
I turn and walk off toward my bedroom.
“Callie?” Jo calls.
I glance back at her.
“I love you, for whatever it’s worth. That isn’t a lie.”
I force a smile, but it feels as though I’ve been punched in the stomach.
This morning I woke up thinking I had more love than I ever thought I deserved.
Tomorrow I’ll wake up realizing that all that love was a lie.
Everything in my world is a lie.
Everything except Jo.
“I love you, too,” I whisper back.
Then I disappear before she can see the tears that roll down my cheeks.
The broken tears.
The tears of betrayal.
My life will never be the same again.
From this moment forward, I trust no one.
Not a single soul in this world.
Trust is the biggest lie of all.
2
I RUB AT MY EYES, TRYING to clear the blurred vision as I slowly wake up, and the world around me becomes clearer with every passing second. I blink a few times and turn my head, glancing at the time. It’s five in the morning. Early. It feels like I’ve barely slept at all. Last night was the worst sleep I’ve had since the night after Celia’s life was taken. I tossed and turned and tried to find every way under the sun to ease my aching heart.
Nothing worked.
I couldn’t switch my mind off. Over and over I relived every second with Tanner, with Ethan, with Andrea, with their friends. I relive the looks that were given when they bought me around their friends, the looks that suddenly make sense to me now. I relived every word, every conversation, every moment. It almost seems obvious, now that I look back on it, and yet I didn’t suspect them.
Not even once.
Mostly, I relived my time in prison. I relived my time with Ethan and the hours of conversation we had, talking about our lives and books and music. Talking about what I’d do when I got out. Talking about Celia. When all along he knew everything about Celia. All along he knew exactly who and what I was. That hurts the most. That long friendship that saved me on my darkest days being a lie.
It feels like a knife plunging deep into my heart.
I don’t know where to go from here, my mind is a chaotic mess. I don’t know how to play out the plan I have when my heart is so incredibly broken. Can I honestly look them all in the eye and act like I don’t know? To let Tanner’s lips touch mine? To laugh with Andrea? To hang out with Ethan? I don’t know. All I know is that today everything is different.
Today, I am different.
I push out of bed, glancing down at my phone. Three missed calls from Ethan. None from Tanner. I don’t even know if Tanner will talk to me—let’s be honest, he heard my story and hasn’t spoken to me since. Of course he hasn’t, he knows who I am, hearing what I had to say probably made him angrier. Maybe I won’t even have to worry about him, maybe he’ll take himself out of my life.
Why does that hurt?
Why does the thought of never seeing Tanner again bother me so? When he is the monster in my world. A liar and a cheat. Tanner and I have nothing real, nothing at all, and yet my heart still aches for him. My body still hurts when I think about what he’s done. I was falling for Tanner, and now I have to tell everything inside me that it was a big lie and wait for it all to switch off. My heart isn’t as quick to catch on as my brain, so the pain isn’t going anywhere for now.
I stare at Ethan’s missed calls. He warned me, he told me not to go into that house. It suddenly makes sense to me why. Not to mention the apology he gave me before I walked out. He was saying sorry in advance for what I was going to find out. Does that mean he cares? Does Ethan actually like me, or was he simply saying sorry out of respect, because he felt he owed me at least that much?
