Page 60 of This for That (The Edge of Retaliation 1)
“It wasn’t her fault,” Jo says, her voice hard. “She didn’t do it on purpose. It’s not like she intended to run into a girl. You made the choice to get in that car, just like the rest of us, even though we all knew it was wrong. What happened after that isn’t on her, or anyone else. It was a bad accident.”
Jo doesn’t need to defend me, but I appreciate that she does. I reach over and squeeze her arm, and she gives me a quick look before scowling at Jessika again.
“It was her fault,” Jessika snaps. “She wasn’t watching. She didn’t have to take her eyes off that road. She could have pulled over. She could have done anything else. Everyone knows you keep your eyes on the road at all times. She chose not to do that. So it was her fault.”
God. I’ve had that thought so many times over the years. That exact same idea. That if I hadn’t taken my eyes off the road, none of it would have happened.
I knew not to look away. I certainly knew better than to twist around to try to help look for that can. I knew it, but I didn’t realize just how severe the consequences really would be until the worst thing in the world happened. I was young. I was stupid. I didn’t think it could ever happen to me.
I thought I was invincible. Aren’t we all at sixteen?
“I’m not here to convince you that I’m innocent in all this,” I say, my voice calm. “I’m here to tell you I’m sorry. I can’t change the past, and I’ve paid for my mistake. I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry for any harm or trauma that was caused to you because of what happened that night.”
Jessika stares at me, then flicks her hair, and says, “Well, if you’re so sorry, maybe you’ll do something for me?”
Jo rolls her eyes. I want to, but I refrain.
“What would that be?”
“You could get a message to someone on the outside for me. I need some cash. I know some people who can do a job for me. If you’re really sorry, you’ll do that.”
I’m a good human, but I’m not a stupid human.
I’m not going to be blackmailed or conned by her just because something I did changed the course of her life.
“Look, I’ve been in prison; I know how these things work. If you think I’m stupid enough to risk going back, you’re wrong. I’m sorry. I won’t be doing anything for you, Jessika.”
Her face scrunches, and she barks, “You owe me! Everything I am is your fault!”
“What a joke,” Jo snaps. “You chose to go down the path you went. You weren’t the only person in that car, Jessika. Sophie and I were in it too, we had the same experience, and we didn’t choose the path you chose. Stop blaming everyone else, and start looking at yourself.”
“Did you lose a leg, Joanne?” she yells. “You always were so fucking perfect.”
Jo exhales and looks at me. “This is pointless. Let’s go.”
I nod and look at Jessika once more. “I’m sorry again. I wish you well, Jessika.”
Then we turn and walk out to the sound of her hurling abuse at us.
Once we’re back in the car, we both sit in silence for a while, and then Jo turns to me and says, “You did the right thing, honey. Even if it didn’t go well, you did the right thing. You’ve closed the doors. You’ve made peace with those affected. You can move on now.”
I have made peace.
But not with everyone.
Not with Celia’s family.
Not with Celia.
I wish I were done, but really, I’m only just beginning.
Now that I’ve apologized to Sophie and Jessika, I can focus on Celia and what happened to her.
I can make sure she gets the justice she deserves.
The justice we both deserve.
23
NOW – CALLIE
“Callie, these are my friends Meghan and Mandy. Girls, this is Callie. She works for me. This is her best friend, Jo.”
I smile at the two girls Andrea just introduced me to, and they both wave and grin happily back. They’re both attractive girls, Mandy with her long raven hair and blue eyes, and Meghan with her honey blond hair and olive colored eyes. They’re both rocking killer bodies, and they’re both dressed for a good night out.
We were meant to go to the beach first, but decided against it due to poor weather.
We’ve met them at a bar in town instead. It’s a nice place, modern and sleek, a world I suppose I’m not overly familiar with. The way the men dress, the way the women carry themselves—that’s something I’m only learning now. It’s something I missed out on. It’s not what I thought it would be, the men with their fancy hairstyles and expensive suits. Hell, men to me are the ones who look like Tanner. Rugged and manly. Oozing masculine energy. These guys? I don’t know. They’re not for me.
