Page 38 of This for That (The Edge of Retaliation 1)
God, do I wish Amber had spoken up. It’s too little too late now, though. All I can do is work with what I’ve got.
“Do you know much about where Chase is now?” I ask.
Amber shakes her head. “No, nobody has seen him for years. It was like he just disappeared after she died. Actually, come to think of it, just before she died, he went missing and she was really frantic. I don’t know if she spoke to him before the accident or not; it was all a blur after . . . you know . . .”
“Yeah,” I say softly. “Yeah, I know. I wonder where Chase is now.”
Amber shrugs. “I can’t help you there. I know his parents lived over on Planet Avenue, but I don’t know whether or not they still do. I never followed it up; I just tried to move on with my life.”
“Was he . . . at her funeral?” I ask.
Amber shakes her head. “No, but apparently he was devastated, so maybe he couldn’t face it . . . you know? I can’t judge; my mom kind of forced me to go. I was so upset. I couldn’t bear it. I don’t remember seeing you there, but I was a mess. I don’t remember much.”
“I’m really sorry, Amber. Thanks for chatting to me. I’ll let you know when I move forward with her memorial.”
Amber smiles. “You’re welcome. It’s a nice thing you’re doing for her, April. She needs people to remember her. She was one in a million.”
I’m sure she was. Oh, I’m sure she was.
That’s exactly why I plan to find out what happened to her.
Celia has delved deep into my heart now. I need to know more. I need to know everything there is to know about her.
Because someone hurt her.
I intend to find out who.
15
THEN – CALLIE
“I miss you,” I say to Max, staring across the table at him. “You don’t visit me very often. Mom said you’re struggling.”
Max shrugs. “I’m fine. I mean, it’s not easy being the brother of someone who is in here for manslaughter.”
Those words feel like a punch to the stomach. My throat tightens, my chest clenches, and I feel emotions whirling up, threatening to break free. I can’t believe Max said something like that. I can’t believe he thinks I’m that . . . that bad.
I didn’t mean to kill her.
He knows that.
He must see the look on my face because he exhales and says, “Sorry, sis. I didn’t mean that. I know you say you didn’t mean to do it and . . .”
“She stepped out in front of me, Max. You know that.”
He nods, but I can see, in the very depths of his eyes, that he doesn’t believe me.
He doesn’t.
I hate that.
“Why are you here,” I say, my voice slowly dying, little by little, “if you think that of me?”
“You’re my sister; I wanted to see you.”
“Even though all I do is make your life that much worse?”
He sighs and runs his hands through his hair. “It’s hard, you know, working and getting around town. People know who I am. They know that you’re in here. They talk. People say things to me. I get into fights. It’s not easy being on the other side either, Callie. Believe me.”
“I’m really sorry you’re going through that, I am, but I never intended for any of this to happen. You know that.”
He nods. “Yeah, anyway, let’s talk about something else. How are you coping in here?”
I shrug, but my bottom lip trembles.
It’s hard. So hard. Each day it feels like it gets so much worse. Trisha has been moved, but now her friends, Tony and Peta are on my case. They’re stepping up and taking the title of biggest bitches in this place, and they’re promising to make my life hell for getting rid of Trisha. It’s like I got rid of one only to gain two. It’s never-ending. Some days, some days I wonder if it would be easier if I wasn’t here.
Those thoughts terrify me.
I don’t want to have them, and yet they torment my mind like a damned disease slowly crawling its way through my body until eventually it takes over.
“Callie, if you’re struggling, you need to speak with someone,” Max says.
Oh, because it’s so damned easy.
People on the outside, they’re really oblivious to how it works in here. There is no talking to someone; there is no getting away from it. You have to face it, or you accept defeat and give in. If you give in, you’ll live a life of misery. If you face it, you have to live your life fighting because that’s the only way you’ll survive and come out stronger.
There is no ‘speaking’ with someone. God, if only it were that easy.
“I don’t want to be in here, Max,” I whisper. “I don’t want to.”
