Page 50 of This for That (The Edge of Retaliation 1)
“Honey,” I say carefully, “why are you staying? What is holding you there? You’re a strong woman, proud and full of courage. Why stay somewhere you’re not happy?”
She exhales. “Because I made a promise to him, to myself. I loved him; shit, I do still love him I suppose, but I married him. I made a commitment. Not just that, but the split would tear our families apart. It would be so messy, so damned ugly, that I just don’t know if I can take it. It would really bring me down, I know it would—not just me, but the press . . . Everyone would have a field day if the richest man in his age group suddenly got dumped. It would cause a media shitstorm.”
She’s right. Pat, being as wealthy as he is, and so well known for his age, would cause a media shitstorm. Not to mention the fact that she’d cop a lot of crap from his family, her family, and everything would go really, really bad. All the same, she shouldn’t be forced to stay when she isn’t happy; nobody deserves to live half of their best life.
“You can’t stay there forever, feeling like this, though.”
She sighs, and rolls to her side. “I know. I’ll figure something out. I will. For now, I told him I’m staying here. Of course, he called me the whole way home, telling me how sorry he is. It would be okay if he actually meant it, but he doesn’t. I know he doesn’t, and he knows he doesn’t. He just doesn’t want the hurricane that would come with our divorce. Honestly, he’s probably already got a mistress.”
It wouldn’t surprise me if he was getting it from somewhere else. Not at all.
“I’m sure he’s not,” I say, because I’m not an asshole and I’m not going to make my best friend feel any worse than she already does.
“Anyway, tell me something awesome. I can’t deal with any more Patrick talk.”
“Well,” I say, and a big, stupid grin spreads across my face, “I lost my virginity tonight.”
Her eyes widen, and she screams, “No way! No freaking way! And you let me go on for so long about stinking Patrick?”
I laugh. “Well, you needed me. I’m not that selfish.”
“Next time, be selfish! Was it Tanner? Oh, please tell me it was Tanner?”
“It was Tanner.” I grin.
She fluffs a pillow under her head and says, “Right, tell me everything.”
So I do.
I tell her everything.
19
THEN – CALLIE
“What did you think of the new book?” Officer Corel asks me as we walk down the halls towards the dining room for dinner.
It has been three years. Three long, hard years, but I’m finally coming out the other side of the hell I was living in. Officer Corel has been a major reason for that. He’s kept me afloat when I thought I would sink. He got me on the straight and narrow. He was there when my family completely abandoned me. He listened. He agreed to help me with Celia when I got out.
He made life so much easier to live.
I’m thankful every day for him.
It doesn’t help that I’m nineteen now, and very aware of how attractive and kind he is. We talk about everything, but never about his relationships. He’s completely unaware of the giant crush I have on him, of course. I mean, I’m locked away. It does give me hope for life outside these walls, though.
To experience this feeling, maybe even with him.
It’s hard to know if he’s dating or not. He doesn’t say and I’m too nervous to ask him, running the risk of it coming across wrong and creating distance between us, which would kill me right now. He’s the only thing that I wake up for, and he’s helped get me through the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced in my life. I can’t do it without him. I’m not sure I’m willing to risk that.
“I thought it was strange,” I tell him in regards to his question about the book. “I mean, I loved it and I couldn’t put it down, but it was really weird to read.”
He nods, grinning. “You’re right, it was, but I enjoyed it a lot. I have some more for you; I’ll bring them in tomorrow.”
“You’re surely going to run out of books soon. I’m the slowest reader in the world, but you’ve brought me so many over the years.”
“I have a lot of books; they’re my way to unwind after a hard day at work. Don’t worry, we’re not going to run out anytime soon.”
“Well, they should last me until I get out of here at least.”
“Yeah, they will, and if they don’t, I’ll go to the library and get you more.”
My cheeks flush as I smile. I like that he does that for me. I like that he gives me books and nobody else gets them. It’s like our little thing. We’ve never been inappropriate, nor have we ever given anyone reason to think there is something going on between us. Guards talk to prisoners all the time; Officer Corel just happens to like talking to me the most.
