Page 8 of The Engagement Gift
I flashed him an evil grin. “You’re right. It is one of the eight wonders of the modern world. And speaking of our record, this weekend I’ll be accepting my award for excellence in stamina and endless pleasure delivery at the Men’s Conference of Gods in Bed.”
“Asshole,” he muttered.
I clapped his shoulder. “Don’t worry. We’ll find a woman for you soon.”
Jake met his last girlfriend online, and she’d seemed perfect. At first, Debbie had wanted to take it slow. But after three months, she’d demanded he put a ring on it. He wasn’t ready, so he’d asked if they could see where things went. Debbie had declared no, since her clock was ticking.
That was that, and since then he’d been taking a break from the apps.
“In the meantime, just tell me your stories and I’ll live vicariously,” Jake said.
“Pervert. But if I told you—and I won’t—I’d have plenty, because this weekend I plan to spend every waking second pleasuring my woman.”
For that, I earned the double bird.
I laughed. “Sorry, not sorry.”
“Yeah, you better not be sorry. Every man is jealous of you.”
I tilted my head, curious. “What do you mean by that?”
He shot me a look like it was as obvious as tomato sauce on a new dress shirt. “Have you seen your fiancée? She’s fucking beautiful. I don’t know why she fell for your ugly ass. And somehow, she tolerates you, too. You better not be dumb enough to ever let go of her.”
That’s when the heavens parted and the filthy angels clanged their cymbals against my head, calling out, You fucking idiot. The answer is right in front of you.
Because angels swore, right?
The answer was under my nose.
If I was going to try to give Lily her fantasy, she wouldn’t want a threesome with a stranger. She’d want someone she could trust. She was a private woman, and naturally, she’d want a third person who’d keep the secret of her desires. She trusted Jake. She trusted my friendship with him. She knew the man would go to the ends of the earth for me.
And Jake? He was a good contender. No strings attached to anyone else.
Clearly, he thought Lily was hot. No surprise there.
Not to mention he was a kinky bastard. Hell, he was an everything bastard. The man once said he was an omnivore when it came to women.
But I’d have to find a way to broach it with Lily first.
So I’d bring up the idea in a setting with the right lubricant.
The toy shop.
* * *
That night, I took her shopping. As we walked into our regular store, she glanced toward the register, where a dark-haired guy worked behind the counter.
“I didn’t know Penn Badgley worked at Eden,” she joked.
“Got a little celebrity crush?” I asked.
“Aww,” she said with a that’s so sweet grin. “You know who Penn Badgley is. Just admit it now—you’re a closet Gossip Girl fan.”
“Smartass,” I said, smacking her rear for her impudence. “I’ve seen You on Netflix, and I also saw Horrible Bosses. So there. No need for Gossip Girl.”
She tilted her head. “He wasn’t in Horrible Bosses.”
“That is true, but Jennifer Aniston’s character invoked his name when she said”—I cleared my throat and tried on a feminine voice—“I fingered myself so hard to that Penn Badgley guy, I broke a nail.’”
Lily shot me a naughty grin, laughing. “Jennifer Aniston’s character has good taste.”
If I were a jealous guy, I’d say something like, As long as you don’t finger yourself to fantasies of the guy at the register, we’re all good. Instead, I said, “Feel free to break a nail later while you fuck yourself in front of me.”
Her shoulders straightened, and she snapped her gaze to me, like I’d shocked her. “You’re such a bad boy.”
I brushed my lips against her neck, whispering in her ear, “And you love it.”
She shivered. “I absolutely do.”
As we strolled through the shelves of vibrators, she grabbed a blue dolphin and pretended it was a mic, adopting an infomercial tone. “And now, may we present the dolphin. Twelve speeds, fluttering nose, and when you use it, you’ll come, singing its praises under the sea.”
A grin tugged at my lips as I handed her a butterfly, ready for her comedy routine. “Why don’t you tell us about this guy?” I asked like a TV host.
She went all theatrical, arms waving, voice sophisticated. “Put this on and you’ll transform.”
Reaching for a silver bullet, I placed the device in her palm, ready for her report. “And now, Lily, please tell the audience at home, what does this little number do?”
She held it up to the light as if studying the sleek pleasure machine. Lily cleared her throat and lowered her voice to a stage whisper. “Horny at the office?” she asked. “Slip this little magic pill under your skirt and ease that ache.”
