Page 10 of Cuffed to my Roomies
He patted me on the back a few times while I got myself together. “I think you’re being generous. We all have our faults. Mine was that we were sexually incompatible. We were only together a few months before we got married, and it wasn’t until after we were married that I found out Sara was a submissive. She wanted me to be her dom, to—you probably don’t want that level of detail, sorry. It’s just something it took me a long time to make sense of.”
I wasn’t sure what the hell I was supposed to say to that. This was the most words Brett had strung together in my presence and it was more revealing that I’d ever expected him to be. I cleared by throat. “No, it must have been upsetting for you if that’s not, um, something you’re into.”
“It isn’t, and it never will be. I grew up with an abusive father. It’s part of where my protective instinct comes from, so there’s an upside to it, but hurting a woman, even a woman who wants to be hurt isn’t something I’m comfortable with. She was very frustrated with me, and she started to seek a dom outside our relationship, which was for the best really, but also felt like a betrayal on a very basic level to me.”
I reached across the table, covered his enormous hand with my small one. I shook my head.
“I’m sorry. To love someone and then find out you were never going to be compatible—I can’t imagine. I don’t want to imagine what that must have been like. But please know that there are plenty of women who like tenderness. I would hate it if you had turned yourself into something you’re not just to please her.”
“It was difficult. The kind of power games she played were not something I was going to understand. I guess I’m a simple man at heart,” he said with a self-effacing shrug, “And that wasn’t going to be enough.”
I rounded the table and touched his face. He looked vulnerable, like he was trying to hide it, like he was about to play it off with a macho posture, but I let my fingers trail along his cheek and looked into those eyes.
“Thank you for trusting me, for telling me,” I said, “And you’re more than enough for anyone.”
I brushed my lips against his. Heat rocketed through me. The gentle caress I intended to give him, part affection and part genuine attraction, got away from me. He reached up and cupped my head in his hand, guiding my mouth down to his. He tasted of cinnamon, and his tongue was hot in my mouth. I shuddered, felt myself turn liquid. And to think I’d considered him the quiet, unassuming one.
I drew back a little shyly.
“I hope I didn’t overstep boundaries,” I said, a little embarrassed. I’d honestly never been that turned on by a guy before, much less one I’d barely known more than two weeks.
“Not a problem. I’ve been attracted to you from the start, but I wasn’t going to act on those feelings.”
“That’s because I fell into an old Hollywood western full of handsome gentleman lawmen,” I said with a shaky laugh. I couldn’t dismiss it as a joke, not when my knees felt syrupy with want.
This could get complicated.
6
I got up the nerve to ask Ben about a bartending position. I had scrambled in right on time, skipping a bathroom break I desperately needed and declining an offer to go out for drinks with staff writers. I yearned to hang out with staff writers. I imagined it would be glamorous, informative, and very grown up. Instead, I was trying not to pee my uniform while I asked the manager for a favor.
“I notice you made it in time,” he said.
“Yes. I’m sorry about all the trouble. You were right about this shift, much as it pains me to admit I’m wrong,” I said as sweetly as I could.
“Is this you quitting?” he asked.
“Well, I have a question. Since I love it here but my punctuality with the schedule has been a problem, I wondered if there were any openings at the bar. I did tend bar my last year in college at McGillicudy’s near campus and Reggie, the manager, can give me a reference. I thought maybe the hours would be slightly different.”
“We have two lunch bartenders already. We have three working evenings, but one of them is getting ready to go on tour with her band.”
“So there’s an opening?” I asked with my most winning smile. He laughed.
“We’ll try you out tomorrow night. The shift starts and hour later than the one you’re used to being late for, so try to be on time. I’ll schedule you on a trial basis for training. See if you can get the hang of the bar. There’s bar customers as well as service bar for the dining room, so it’s pretty hectic.”
