Page 39 of The Cabin-A Reverse Harem Romance
A sound from downstairs caught my attention. As I laid there, hair on the back of my neck stood up, and a chill ran down my spine. My first thought was Brad that was breaking in, and that we were all in danger. I listened, knowing that I was safe as long as my guys were with me, but I feared for Chase and Nolan, who were both still downstairs. The sound came again, and this time I could place it. It was footsteps in the kitchen, soft and furtive. Then the fridge door opened and closed.
Either Chase or Nolan was still up and was moving around down there. My cheeks burned red as I realized there was no way they couldn’t have heard what had happened up here. I suddenly wondered if it would cause problems between the guys. After all, there’d been an unspoken rule that none of them were allowed to touch me, let alone sleep with me, or so it seemed. I swallowed my fears and slid off of the bed. Quickly pulling my yoga pants and shirt back on, I quietly walked down the stairs. I wanted to talk to whoever it was down there to head things off and try to keep the peace between everyone. I needed to let them know that I was more than okay with everything that had happened, and that there was nothing for any of us to be ashamed about.
Though, truth be told there was some small stab of shame and guilt. It was more of a fear inside of me though that Aaron would have been upset with me for sleeping with not just one, but two of his friends. At the same time, no less. I pushed those thoughts away for now though. Best not to dwell on it at the moment. I’d handle that later. Right now, I needed to talk to the people who were still with me.
My footsteps felt heavy on the stairs, each one seemed to echo through the entire cabin like a gunshot, and I prayed I didn’t wake anyone else up. When I reached the bottom of the stairs I caught sight of Nolan standing at the window, his back to me, just staring at the whiteness of the storm outside. He hadn’t heard me, but I caught sight of his reflection in the window just as he caught sight of mine.
He turned, a glass of water in his hand and a small smile on his face.
“Can’t sleep?” I whispered.
“That obvious, huh?” he teased, though his smile faded a bit as I walked closer to him. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m good,” I said.
Truth be told, I was very good after what had happened with Trevor and Sean, but that seemed to be probably not something Nolan would want to hear.
“Good,” he said, turning his attention back to the window.
I sidled up beside him and stared out at the snowy landscape. Snow was still coming down, though not as heavy as before. Maybe the storm was starting to blow itself out. It made the grounds and trees shimmer with a soft, reflected light. We didn’t see a lot of snow in South Carolina, nothing like that, and it amazed me.
“What are you thinking about?” Nolan asked me.
“Oh, just how I’d like to be outside right now building a snowman,” I said.
He chuckled. “Really? After everything you’ve been through so far, you want to go outside and play in the snow?”
I nodded. “I do, yes,” I said, as I bit my lip and turned toward him. “After everything I’ve been through, I really just want to have some fun, and enjoy my life. Is that so wrong?”
Yes, my question had more to do with the sex I’d had earlier and less to do with the snow, but my point still stood. Was it wrong for me to enjoy my life? I needed some happiness. After my brother’s death, I’d sunk into a depression that I’d kept hidden away from the world. Back then, I’d latched onto Trevor, desperate to find some semblance of happiness, though, I ended up finding nothing but guilt instead. Then Brad came along, and things seemed fine, for a while. I had only been deluding myself this whole time.
In that moment, I realized I’d been looking for something –anything — to make me feel alive and happy again.
“No, Elise. There’s nothing wrong with it,” Nolan said. “Just be careful, okay?”
Tears welled in my eyes, and I stared at the white world outside again. Aaron had always loved the snow and had talked about how much he wanted to go skiing almost every winter. That was before he’d lost his leg. Afterward, he didn’t want to do much of anything. Apparently, not even live. Even with a prosthetic it wasn’t the same for him. He was never the same. He’d lost his way and his purpose in life.
