Page 20 of Double Trouble
“Because they can’t possibly be ok with having to share me.”
“You know that for a fact?” she asked.
“No, I just… it doesn’t feel right. Being with two guys, having feelings for two guys. It could never work out long-term. I’d have to choose eventually, and then someone would get hurt.”
The way Dr. Abraham’s left brow quirked, I could tell that she was just itching to say ‘you know that for a fact?’ again. Although I was thankful she held back. We could talk about openness and people being understanding all we liked while we were safe here in her primrose-colored four walls. But at the end of the day, having two boyfriends didn’t work. It just didn’t.
“It seems you’ve made up your mind.” Dr. Abraham’s words were a statement, her gaze a question.
I sighed. “That’s just the thing, I haven’t. I’m annoyed with myself for all this indecisiveness, but I just can’t help it. I really like Jake, and I really like Owen. And the thought of losing either of them, or worse, driving a wedge between two brothers, terrifies me.”
“So you think it’s better to give them up now?”
“No.” I bit on the corner of a hangnail on my thumb. “I have no idea what’s better. That’s what I came to you for.”
Her smile was gentle, but firm. “You know that’s not the way it works. As a therapist, I can’t tell you how to live your life. Only you can do that.”
“But what if I have no clue?”
Dr. Abraham let a pregnant pause go by as she studied me before answering, “Sometimes when we know what is right, but it scares us, we aren’t able to follow through or even admit what we should do.”
I let my mind digest this for a minute, before shaking my head. “Maybe. But not in this case, I don’t think.”
When Dr. Abraham only nodded, I said. “So that’s it then? I should just keep seeing where this goes?”
She eyed me. “If that’s what you think. I think we can agree that writing off anything prematurely because of what happened to your fiancé, or based on what ‘isn’t right’, could be cause for regret further down the road.”
I nodded wordlessly, but Dr. Abraham’s smile was indefatigable. “Not what you hoped to glean here?”
“Not exactly,” I admitted. “I was hoping you’d tell me I had a screw loose getting feelings for two men at the same damn time. I was wanting you to let me off the hook, in a sense.”
“Sometimes, our fear acts like an arrow, straight toward what we need to try.” She blinked. “Other times, it’s a warning signal for us to pay attention, back away or just be careful.”
“Great, more shades of grey.”
She chuckled. “You know, Cin, you do look well. Better than I’ve ever seen you, I think.”
My cheeks flushed. “Thanks.”
She took one of my hands and clasped it warmly. “And don’t worry. Whatever happens, you’re going to be just fine.”
Good God, I hoped she was right.
13
Owen
“This is probably the weirdest date suggestion ever, but hey, want to go to Battle Sports with me?”
I braced myself for Cin’s response, already regretting launching right into inviting her out without any semblance of polite small talk first. After two days of zero contact, this was how I planned on getting her to come out and see me?
Truthfully, it was probably that I didn’t really expect her to agree to come out with me at all. Not after what had happened with Jake.
“Battle Sports?” she was saying. Which was not an outright refusal or excuse, at least. “I’m picturing us wearing armor and jousting.”
“Close,” I said with a laugh. “Instead, we just bash TVs and chairs and stuff.”
“Really?”
“It’s supposedly cathartic and, I don’t know, lately I’ve had a lot of pent-up emotions and stuff.”
Silence. Yep, nice idea, Owen, invite a girl you really like to go bash TVs. Brilliant.
“Sorry, it is a weird thing to invite you to,” I said quickly. “After Battle Sports, I was planning on us going the beach, having some ice cream, but we could just do that instead?”
“Sure,” she said, and I almost dropped my phone when she added, “Bash TV’s, then beach time.”
—
An hour later, I was laughing as I picked her up.
“You’re really taking this Battle Sports thing seriously, eh?”
“Hell yeah.” She fingered one of the gaping rips on her shirt. “Figured my nice velvet dress wouldn’t exactly be the best attire for TV bashing.”
I couldn’t resist – I reached out and gave one of the holes a little tug, then grinned at her. “Looks sturdy enough.”
There was something catlike about her smile. “Hopefully the TVs aren’t.”
As I pulled away from her building, I tossed a glance her way. “I should warn you, I’m not 100% sure there’s TVs to bash.”
Her expression became one of mock horror. “I don’t know if I can go through with this now.”
