Page 32 of Pretend You're Mine
“Spent the morning together, and the night before that too. More time than we probably should’ve. And I….”
“You know what I’m going to say,” Carlos said abruptly, cutting me off.
Letting that line slide was no use, he cleared his throat and said, “That is why you called me.”
I reached for my glass and let my hand close around it. He was right. I’d just wanted to talk to someone who was sure of something, even if it dead against what was forming in my own head.
“I like her,” I said. “Like really like her… But she’s got some baggage man. And me….”
“You aren’t a relationship guy,” Carlos summed up.
“Maybe,” I said, “I just don’t know where things are going now.”
“You’re treading on dangerous ground my friend.”
I didn’t need to look at his face to know that it was probably in solidarity with his stern tone. Instead, my gaze wandered further into the bar, where there was the kind of happy couple that I normally didn’t notice.
Right then, though, the way they were laughing and happy and all over each other in that so-easy way seemed to be twisting the knife deeper.
“Not going to say much,” Carlos was saying. “Just to be the fuck careful.” His gaze had followed mine to the couple, almost as though he were speaking as much for them as for me. “You wouldn’t believe how abruptly and completely things can take a turn, go complete fucking 360 to hell without you ever seeing it coming.”
His lips twitched to the side. “Then again, maybe you should go hit up Penelope at our old house. Listen to her side of the story.”
I let that sit for a minute before peeling my gaze off the couple and returning it to Carlos. “I know your divorce was insane. But you have to admit, dude, you cheated on her.”
Carlos’ eyes closed. “Yeah, what do you want me to say? That it was the worst mistake of my fucking life? That I’d take it back in an instant? That after, my dear wife cleaned me out, financially, emotionally, literally?” His smile was terrifying. “Because it’s true. All of it. It was a big fucking mistake.” His gaze lifted to mine. “But here’s the thing. Think about it, man, this world we live in, our biology, that and monogamy just don’t go together.”
His lips twisted. “Everyone acts like staying loyal and in love for years on end is just a fucking walk in the park, but it isn’t. Relationships are hard. Being and staying in love, is hard. That’s what Disney, and your parents, and all the fucking bullshit Hollywood movies won’t tell you.” He leaned in close. And in his face, I saw the truth of his words, how he felt. “But I will.”
There was nothing to say to that. Carlos might have been bitter, but he was right too. I was a divorce lawyer – if anyone knew how right he was, it was me.
Even if it wasn’t cheating that ultimately ruined the relationship, it was some dumb argument over money or some little straw that broke the camel’s back.
And yet, I couldn’t quite just sit there and let Carlos’ words stay. They just didn’t seem to ring true where Naomi was concerned.
“I don’t know, man,” I said.
Carlos’ face showed no expression. “Yeah, and I do.” He made a wistful sound as he shook his head. “You know, I know you think this thing with your chick could work despite every piece of evidence you’ve seen over and over again to the contrary.”
His head lifted and that was even worse, his vacant, distant expression, somewhere in the past. “Penelope and I were together for twelve years. Twelve years, and all down the toilet because one drunken mistake one night.” Another bitter head shake. “It’s not worth it. If I had been living differently, taken a different path, focused on my business, on myself, having all the experiences I sacrificed instead, to be with her … all the other women.…” One final, definitive nod. “Let’s just say that you’d be seeing a very different Carlos today.”
We sat there, sipping at the last of our drinks. Carlos was right. I was being stupid about this Naomi business.
“You going to say hi?” Carlos motioned further down the bar, where two brunettes with little confections of crop tops were eyeing us.
“No,” I said. “You?”
A long pause. Carlos drained his cup, then shook his head. “Nope.”
A smirk passed between us, and Carlos clinked his glass against mine, saying, “Well, here’s to that.”
15
Naomi
Xander called me to invite me out with his family to some theatre show the next day. Relief was the first thing I’d felt when I saw his name appear on my phone. I had been a bit dramatic at the end of our carnival date, even if things with him had been getting to me.
