Page 48 of Pretend I’m Yours
“What’s wrong? Forget how to shoot?” Brody asked. “As I recall, you were one of the best players in the squad.”
“Fuck off,” I snapped. He gave me a look and shook his head as he made another perfect shot. After sinking two more balls, I could tell he intentionally missed the next.
“You don’t have to let me win,” I said. “I can do it myself.”
“Not shooting like that you can’t,” he said. “My grandmother hits better, and she’s half blind and has arthritis.”
“Then maybe you better go play pool with her,” I said. He laughed and I sighed. Brody knew I was in a bad mood, but he was also willing to put up with it. I had told him everything when he got to the bar, including how much it crushed me to think that it was over.
“I just don’t think I can go through with another heartbreak,” I told him.
‘Then why not talk to her? It’s the only way you’re going to get to the bottom of your feelings. And hers, too, for that matter,” he replied. Always practical, but not always one to understand right where I was with my emotions.
“That’s the problem. I heard what she said to her parents, and I know nothing is going to change that,” I replied. “She isn’t like me in ways that matter too much for us to ignore. I’m not sure why I thought things could be real between us.”
“You know her better than I do, but from the sounds of things you two hit it off well, get along, and liked spending time together. Are you sure you know the whole story here?” he’d asked.
The problem was, I was absolutely convinced that I had the whole story. What else was there for me to know? She didn’t just tell her parents what was going on, she laughed about it and made it clear it wasn’t going to continue. I had heard what I needed to, and I didn’t need to hear it again.
“The thing is, if she really didn’t care, why did she try to come after you?” he’d asked.
“Guilt? She’s a sweet girl. I’m sure she didn’t like the fact that I’d overheard what she said, and she wanted to make sure I wasn’t too upset. Or maybe she wanted it to be my fault if I pushed her away. Who knows? Women are hard to figure out,” I told him. “I just don’t know how I’m going to face her now.”
“That’s a tough one. But it’s going to have to happen if you’re going to get your shit out of her place as well as the money she owes you,” he said.
“I’m not sure I even want it now,” I admitted. “I really don’t.”
“Well, you’d better take it anyway. It’s not like you have a ton of other money lying around to get you a place and see you through until you get a job,” he said. I knew he was right. I had to get the money from her, and I had to get my things, too.
I’d be leaving with the check and the duffel I’d come in with. There was no way I was going to keep any of the clothes and things I’d bought with her card. Nope, it was back to Target for my wardrobe and toiletries. And honestly, that part was totally fine with me.
Then, the worst thing that could have happened, happened. I knew she was trying to get a hold of me. She kept calling my phone to the point I turned off the ringer. I didn’t want to talk to her, and I didn’t like hearing the ringtone sounding every few minutes.
I’d talk to her when I was ready, but like before, I had to figure out what I was going to say. I didn’t want to have a big talk. I didn’t want to hear a speech, I just wanted to accept the fact that we weren’t going to be together and move on.
But I was going to have to figure out how to say that without it turning into anything more. No arguing, no shouting, no show of emotion on my side whatsoever. Hell, I wouldn’t cry if I was just quitting another job, and that was how I was going to force myself to look at this situation.
What I didn’t think she’d do, however, is track me down on foot. I figured she’d wait for me to come back to the apartment and give me my things, maybe tell me once more how happy she was that I helped her, and we’d move on.
When she walked through the door at the bar, my heart nearly stopped. I didn’t want to talk to her in front of Brody. Hell, I didn’t want to talk to her at all right now. I needed time to think about what I was going to say, I needed the time to get over her before we talked about how it wasn’t ever going to happen between us.
