Page 49 of Pretend I’m Yours
But there she was.
She tried her best to talk to me, I knew she did, but I wasn’t in the mood. I didn’t care if she made a scene in the middle of the bar. I couldn’t bring myself to have that conversation in public. I’d hear what she had to say, and that was it, but I wasn’t going to discuss anything further.
When she left, however, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d made a mistake. I kept wondering what she wanted to tell me, and there was a part of me that kicked myself for not going after her.
“She was pretty,” Brody said, cutting into my thoughts.
“Shut up,” I said. “I don’t want to talk about Hannah.”
“I thought you wanted me to come down here so we could talk about it?” he asked. “That’s why I dropped everything and came back.”
“I wanted to tell you what happened, listen to my side of things,” I replied. “You heard how I felt about things earlier, I wanted you to hear how it all turned out for me.”
“I think you’re making a huge mistake,” he said with a shrug.
“What the hell?” I asked as I looked at him. “What do you mean?”
“She tried to talk to you. That was your chance to hear her out. Who knows what she was going to say? You weren’t there for the whole conversation, and you didn’t know what she was going to tell you now. Perhaps it was a mistake, I don’t know,” he said. “The least you could have done is listen.”
“I was listening!” I shot back. “I told her to go ahead and say what she needed to say.”
“You said that, but you also knew she wasn’t going to do it when I was standing here,” he said, calling my bluff. He knew me too well. I was using him as a shield, protecting myself from what I didn’t want to hear, and the conversation I didn’t want to have.
I tried to make it look like I was listening to her, but deep down, I knew she wasn’t going to say anything too personal when we were standing with a person who was not only a stranger to her, but a friend of mine.
“Well, it’s too late now,” I said. I tried to make another shot, but I missed once again. Brody laughed and clapped me on the back.
“Is it? Because it sure seems like it’s eating at you,” he said. “I’ve never seen you shoot such a bad game.”
“I can’t think straight,” I said with a shake of my head. “I felt so strongly for her, and I was ready to put it all on the line. Now, it’s all fucked up. Just one royally fucked up mess.”
“Stop feeling sorry for yourself and whining like a pussy,” Brody said. “It doesn’t suit you any more than the life of luxury does.”
“What the hell am I supposed to do then?” I snapped.
“Go after her? She came all the way down here to find you, why not go find her and show her that you’ll give her the time of day? Considering what you said the two of you had, I think she deserves at least that much from you,” Brody said. “I would rather be job hunting and looking for a place to live than standing here watching you unable to hit a single ball.”
I smiled grimly. I knew he was right, and I wanted to talk to her. But I was even more nervous now that things were going to be worse than before. I’d just treated her like shit right in front of my best friend. I didn’t deserve the chance to talk.
But then, she did. She wanted to tell me something, and I had been a dick about it. I had to find her and make it right. Sure, that likely wouldn’t mean that I got what I wanted out of the deal, but it would be enough to clear my conscience and set things straight.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and tried to call her, but it went to voicemail. Surprised, I tried again, but again nothing.
“She’s not answering now. I better go back and find her,” I said.
“Sounds good. Let me know how this all works out for you,” Brody said. He shook my hand before leaving, and I sighed. I gathered my things and tried her again, frustrated that it once again went to her messages. Of course, I knew I couldn’t be too pissed off with her. She’d tried to call me several times and I’d sent her to voicemail, why couldn’t she do the same?
I headed outside, holding the phone to my ear as I walked. I headed back toward her penthouse, deciding walking would be the best thing. I needed the time to cool off a bit before I got there.
