Page 43 of Pretend I’m Yours
How could I tell him that I loved him now? Would he even believe me if I did? He knew how things were with my parents, but nothing could take back what I’d told them, what he’d heard with his own ears.
“Get out!” I shouted. “Get out of here, now!”
“Don’t worry, we’re not staying,” my mother said. She looped her purse strap over her arm. “And if you don’t get yourself together and end this charade, you aren’t either.”
“Trust me, I’m getting out of this place as soon as possible,” I snapped. “I’m never going to be who you expect me to be. If you can’t get over that and love me because I’m your daughter, then I don’t want you in my lives at all. Once I graduate in a few weeks, I’ll get out and you can forget I exist.”
Both parents shook their heads, but they left without another word to either each other or me. I didn’t turn around as I heard their footsteps leading to the door, or even when I heard it open and close. The sound of the click echoed through my apartment, but all I could really think about was the racing of my heart.
Drake was gone. He had heard me laugh about what we’d been doing and tell my parents it wasn’t ever going to happen. He’d heard me lie, and there was no taking that back now. My chance had slipped away because I was too stupid to stand up to my own parents.
What had I done?
19
Drake
I jammed my hands in my pockets as I walked quickly up the street. I was a fast walker anyway, but when I really tried to get going, it wasn’t hard for me to move. I heard Hannah shout for me in the hallway just before the elevator doors closed, but I wasn’t going to go back.
What was she going to say? She didn’t know I was in the apartment? She didn’t mean for it to be so abrupt? Would she be angry with me for being hurt? After all, it wasn’t her fault that I’d fallen in love.
As far as she’d known, we were just going to be living together until we got rid of Brandon, then we would be done. That was the plan from the beginning, and there was no reason on her end why things should be any different.
But did she have to laugh about it? What was so funny about the thought of us being together? Hell, who am I kidding? What isn’t so funny about it? You saw the kind of people she came from – the kind of people her family is.
I was angry at myself for letting my heart get involved. I had broken my only promise to myself and I was the only one to blame. Yeah, we shared a connection, but she clearly saw me as her protector; her means to an end with Brandon. I was never going to fit in with her life.
Even though she didn’t subscribe to her parents’ bullshit theory that you had to have money to matter, the truth of it was that she did have money. She always had, and she didn’t know what it was like to live without it. Sure, she worked for her tuition, but she lived in a goddamn penthouse that she didn’t pay for. She didn’t really know what it was like to be a “normal person” and she never would. There was no way it would work between us and I was an idiot to have ever thought otherwise.
I kicked a can out of my way, not caring that it fell into the gutter. I didn’t care about anything right now. My heart raced and my mind was spinning. The thoughts were coming faster than what I was able to keep up with, and I was a mix of anger, hurt, and shame.
I was embarrassed that I really did let myself fall in love with Hannah. There was a part of me that still felt there was no way for me to help it. She was perfect – everything any man could ever ask for.
Then again, I knew from the beginning what I was getting myself in to. This was business, and the only reason I’d agreed to the idea was because I wanted to help out the girl, and because I knew in the long run it would help me. I needed the place to stay and I needed the money, and she needed a helping hand.
On paper, it had been nothing more than a black and white arrangement. Why did I let it get to this?
I shouldn’t have been in the apartment to hear the conversation anyway. She thought I was out with Brody, and it probably would have been better had I been. But Brody had other things that he had to do. He was just settling back into civilian life, which meant he was going to have to find a place to live as well as a job.
