Page 38 of Pretend I’m Yours
There was a knot in my stomach as I ordered food at the coffee shop, and I anxiously tapped my foot on the ground as I waited. I knew why it felt awful to think about ending the arrangement with Drake. Plain and simple, I had fallen for him. And I’d fallen hard.
Now that we’d talked to Brandon, there was little doubt in my mind the end was coming sooner rather than later, and I wasn’t sure I was ready for it.
The biggest problem was that I didn’t know how Drake felt. Clearly, we had some sort of a connection, but was it enough on his part to make him want to stay with me. Or was the amazing sex just a bonus to the hefty paycheck I’d promised him at the end of the whole thing? There was a lump in my throat as I took the bagel and coffee and thanked the barista. It was true. I had to face the facts and talk to Drake. I knew the end was coming, and it wasn’t fair for me to expect anything different from him.
A deal was a deal, and I was going to go through with what I told him. I had no choice. Love hadn’t been part of the equation, and it wasn’t going to be now. Drake had done his part, and it was time for me to do mine.
But I knew without a doubt one thing was for sure: I was going to break my own heart in the process.
17
Drake
“I’ve never been in here,” Brody whistled as he looked around the bar with approval in his eyes. He had finally gotten back to Chicago, and now found himself in the same situation I had been in when I’d first gotten back.
In a hotel room and living out of a duffle bag, I figured he’d be happy to get out for the afternoon. Plus, it had been a while since the two of us had seen each other. We had been so close when we were in the Navy, and he’d really helped me keep focused on not getting my head blown off after shit went down with my ex.
Brody was one of the only men I’d truly confided in through the entire ordeal, and he had been there for me through it all. I was proud to call him my friend, and ever since what happened with Charlie, I was even prouder to call him my best friend.
Brody was the man who would be there through the thick and thin. He was also the man who would tell me straight how he saw things. With Brody, there was no beating around the bush or pussy footing around. If he thought I should or shouldn’t do something, he would tell me regardless of personal feelings.
He was the man I’d truly trust with my life. So, when he texted me that he was back in Chicago, I immediately started looking for a time when we could meet up.
I decided to take him to one of the bars I’d never frequented myself. The drinks were expensive, and the atmosphere screamed money. Not only did I prefer the air in the lesser expensive venues, the fact of the matter was that I couldn’t afford to hang out at places like this without the money Hannah was paying me.
When I’d told her I was going to spend the afternoon with a guy I knew in the service, she had suggested that I use the card she’d given me for our time together and treat him to something nice. Of course, I didn’t argue. Though I felt odd using the card for my own frivolous spending, I was proud to get to treat my best friend to such a place.
“It’s something, that’s for sure. Come on, let’s get a table by the window. I’d rather not hang out at the bar itself,” I said. That was where many of the businessmen in the city would gather to gossip and strike their deals. Sitting at a high top near one of the windows, we’d get to see what was going on outside while having some level of privacy.
We ordered our drinks and a few appetizers to munch on, then we headed to a more secluded area of the bar.
“It’s good to have you back, man,” I said as we sat down. “Chicago has felt pretty damn big for being a place I once thought was too small.”
“Have you had any contact with your Anna Marie since you’ve been back?” he asked.
“Only saw her once,” I said. I filled him in on what happened at the restaurant I’d gone to with Hannah. But I was rather vague about the relationship aspect between her and I. I wasn’t sure how to bring it up. Though Brad and the guys had thought that it was a great idea, I wasn’t sure how Brody would take it.
