Page 112 of Valentino

The suitcase by the door isn't mine either, but my things are inside it. What's left of them. A toothbrush. Valentino's hoodie, folded on top because I asked for it. A passport with a Canadian seal and a name that isn't my name.

So I wait.

Forty minutes. Maybe an hour. The minute hand barely moves, and somehow every second still passes.

I told myself I wouldn't cry before the car. I told myself a lot of things.

If I listen to my head, leaving makes sense. He can't think with me here. He can't plan. Can't move without wondering where I am, who can reach me, who might use me against him. Every place I go becomes another place Enzo Basile's men can find, and Valentino already has a price on his head.

If I listen to my head, I get in the car.

If I listen to anything else, I stay right here. If he wants me out, he'll have to carry me.

I pick my head. It's what mature people do.

I hate mature people.

The door opens, and Valentino stands there in black and his watch on his left wrist. He's been on the phone for an hour, handling whatever comes next like this isn't the worst moment of my life.

He looks at the suitcase first. Then at me.

"Luca is in the living room."

"Okay."

Neither of us moves.

The suitcase sits between us, packed and waiting, and I hate it for being ready when I'm not.

I stand up. My legs work. I guess that's something.

I walk to him without rushing, wanting to savor the four steps. The light from the hall over his shoulder. The line of his jaw. The way he looks at me without asking me to make this easier on him.

I put my hand on his chest. His heart thunders under it, faster than I've ever felt it beat.

"I need to ask you something," I say.

"Ask."

"Is there a chance you come out of this alive?"

He looks at me, and I hate that he thinks about it. I hate that he respects me enough not to lie fast.

"Yes," he says.

"Yes what?"

"Yes. There is a chance."

"A good one?"

His jaw shifts. "A real one."

I nod like I believe him.

I don't.

I know what a good chance looks like. I know what a bad one looks like too. This lives somewhere between them, and I don't have the strength to figure out what that is.