Page 37 of Big Package

“What?” I asked.

“You’ve had a rough year.”

I stared at him. “That’s where you want to go with this?”

“You were supposed to get married. You came home because that fell apart.”

“I came home because I needed somewhere to go. I stayed because I wanted to.”

Cole set down the rest of his sandwich. “I’m trying to be realistic. You’ve barely had time to figure out what you want.”

“I know what I want.”

“Right now.”

I didn’t like his tone, didn’t like what he wasn’t saying either. “Go on. Say what you mean.”

Cole sighed and stared up at the ceiling. “I don’t want to be the next thing you grab onto because the last thing fell apart. Maybe you need time to figure out what you want before you build your life around somebody else again.”

He was deciding what was best for me without even realizing he was doing it.

“You don’t get to do that.”

“Do what?”

“Make my decisions for me.”

He lowered his head and met my gaze before looking away. “I’m not deciding anything.”

“You just told me I don’t know what I want.”

“I’m saying you went from planning a wedding to rebuilding everything in six months. Maybe jumping into something serious isn’t⁠—”

“Stop.” I kept my voice low enough that nobody out front would hear. “Kevin decided he wasn’t ready to marry me. That was his right. What wasn’t okay was how long he let me keep building a future he’d already started questioning. I took over this shop because I needed something that felt like mine, and for months I’ve been terrified that every decision I make is just another reaction to what happened.”

“That’s what I’m trying to⁠—”

“No. You’re trying to protect me from making another mistake.” I shook my head. “You don’t get to decide that you’re a mistake before I’ve had a chance to choose you.”

He looked like I’d hit closer to the truth than he wanted.

“I don’t need another man to build my life around,” I said. “That’s the whole point. I don’t want to build my life around you, Cole. I want to see if there’s room for you in the life I’m already building.”

He stared at me. I had never felt more vulnerable or exposed, not even the other night when he had me naked on the loveseat.

“I don’t know if I can give you what you want,” he said, his voice quiet.

“You don’t even know what I’m asking for.” I swallowed. “You’re scared. So am I. I’m terrified of getting this wrong again. I’m terrified that I like you enough for this to hurt. But I’m still here, and I still want to try.”

He looked like he might close the distance between us and pull me into his arms. Instead, he shoved his hands into his coat pockets, and that hurt worse than anything he’d said.

“I should go.”

This time I didn’t try to stop him.

“I’m not going to chase you down and convince you that I know my own mind,” I said. “You have to decide what you want to do with this. Not what you think is best for me.”

He held my eyes for a long moment. Then he nodded. “Yeah.”