Page 89 of The Chaperones

Sofía, the single mom

On Sunday morning, we are finally able to leave this island.

We wait on the pier, watching as the boat approaches. The water’s so calm, it’s hard to believe they couldn’t run the ferry yesterday, that a helicopter was only able to fly in a few hours ago to take Stella and Mona to the hospital. They’re both going to be okay, because honestly, if either truly had life-threatening injuries, they’d be dead already.

Everyone remains in line, silent, with sunburned faces and bloodshot eyes. They are all giving me space, except Javi, who clings to me. I wouldn’t let him come see me in the Visitor Center as I was rechecking Stella’s vitals and temperature, redressing her head wound. It pained me to be apart from him, to not know what he was thinking, what he was told or had overheard, since surely the mothers who had been rotating in and out of helping me with Stella had been giving the others reports on her status. I didn’t want Javi to see her like that. I didn’t want to see her like that either. But I wasn’t about to leave her care to anyone else.

A ranger I don’t recognize comes over to chat with us. His name tag reads Ranger Alex. Like Emmy, he wears a gun at his hip. I stare at it as he claps his hands and says, “I heard there were a few junior rangers that needed swearing in.”

I was so focused on Stella, trying to warm her hypothermic body, that I hadn’t registered the first gunshot. I heard it, but I didn’t realize what it was until the second blast.

The mothers who were helping me tend to Stella eyed each other. “Was that a gunshot?” They sprinted outside.

Alone with Stella, the small, damp room felt too big. I wasn’t scared of the gunshots. I was terrified of the injuries they promised, the others who might be hurt that I couldn’t adequately care for.

Alone, I spoke to Stella. I told her all about the warm water bottles I was nestling against her torso, reminding her she was too strong to die on this island. I told her about the helicopter that was coming to save her, that until it could fly here, she had to save herself. I kept talking because I knew at some level she could hear. At some level it was helping to keep her alive.

I nudge Javi toward the ranger, but he won’t let go of my leg. “Go, mi amor.”

Charles encourages Lei too. Their family is right behind us in line. I have been avoiding Charles, and he’s doing his best to pretend I don’t exist either. His thing with Cassie, what I saw behind the Visitor Center, hardly matters now. Even so, it feels unfair that he’s holding Raymond’s hand as Cassie is being ferried to a police station.

Throughout it all, my mind keeps drifting to Cassie. I don’t know how she came to shoot her brother. I only know that after Karthik trudged up to the cliffs to confirm Travis’s death by gunshot, Cassie was taken to one of the rangers’ cabins, where she was held until she was transported back to Ventura. While I’m still furious with her, part of me aches to see her. I know how hard this must be for her. I know how much she must need a friend. While I don’t understand it, I still want to be that friend to her.

The details of how Mona ended up in the woods with them remain hazy too. The doctors examined her. I was too anxious to leave Stella’s side. If Mona explained anything to them, that story didn’t make its way to me. The mothers who helped me with Stella only told me that the male ranger had stationed her in another cabin, where Brady didn’t leave her side until she was carried on a gurney to the helicopter. He’d wanted to fly out with her and bring the kids, but it was too much weight. He wasn’t about to leave his children alone on a wild island, so he’s here now, standing behind Charles and Raymond, clutching his children as forcefully as Javi clings to me.

“You’ve been working toward this all weekend,” I say, peeling Javi off me. He walks over and stands beside his best friend.

I heard about Travis and Mona, in fits and spurts as the mothers returned to check on Stella. Check on me too. It’s the worst moments that show you who people are. And these mothers, these parents, they rose to the occasion. I don’t know how they’ll continue to meet up for spa dates and coffee. To gossip about PO and nut butters at birthday parties. I don’t think things can go back to how they were before. But the Chester School is a community. We’ll get through this together.

Javi and Lei raise their right hands, as Ranger Alex makes them recite promises to protect the land and themselves. The line in front of us starts to move, and Javi runs over to me.

As the boat pulls away from the dock, Javi rubs his ranger badge.

“We can stitch it to your backpack,” I suggest. He shrugs. I put my arm around him, and we sit in silence, watching the small waves we coast through. I’m praying that the water stays this calm, that, on top of everything else, Javi won’t get sick again.

“Daddy!” Kai jumps up from the seat behind us and runs to the rail. He points to the ocean, where a dolphin arcs out of the water and dives back in. I feel Javi sit up. Another dolphin charges out of the water. And another. Javi jumps up. He and Lei run toward the rail.

The boat slows, and everyone stands, making their way to the side to get a view of an ocean full of dolphins. On the loudspeaker, the captain’s voice echoes as he explains the superfeed. He says he’s going to pull closer to see if we can spot a whale.

When we approach, the unmistakable flukes of a whale’s tail fan up, then smack the water with such force it nearly splashes us. Javi and Lei giggle in delight. They stand at the railing, pointing. Suddenly, a dorsal fin cuts the water several feet from where the tail surfaced. We see the arc of one whale, a back of another, then two more. The boys spot ten whales, although I’m fairly certain they double counted a few. Over the loudspeaker, the captain tells us that in his three years driving this ferry, he’s never seen so many whales at once. We must be one lucky bunch. I shudder at this. Lucky.

A hand squeezes my shoulder. It’s Charles, appearing as youthful and exhilarated as our sons. The anger I’ve been feeling toward him softens as I beam back.

I don’t know how long we stay there with the engine idling, watching the whales. The dolphins. Each time they surface, the boys gape like they are seeing it for the first time.

Eventually the captain tells us that we need to get back to the mainland. The boat pulls away from the superfeed. The whales grow smaller as we charge toward Ventura. In the distance, Santa Cruz is a shadow on the horizon. I’m not sure when it disappeared into the sky. It’s gone now, and I know I’ll never see it again.

The boat picks up speed. Everyone settles back into their seats. Everyone except Javi and Lei, who stay perched by the rail. When the crowd thins, I spot Lily and Dave. Dave has been doing his best to avoid me, which I’m grateful for. Any compassion I feel for Cassie doesn’t extend to her husband. I can still feel the way he pressed his body into mine, how he felt entitled to kiss me. Instinctively, I wipe my lips as Dave makes eye contact with me, then quickly glances away.

Lily keeps her gaze fixed on me. Her face wears a set of emotions that seems too complicated for a girl her age. Her pain sends a horrible feeling through my gut. She’s a kid. And now she’s lost her mother and her uncle. I have no idea what happened to Travis’s body, if he’s on our boat in the hold, or he left on the ranger’s boat with Cassie an hour ago.

Dave nudges Lily. She walks toward me.

“I’m really sorry.” Lily presses the heels of her hands into her legs. “I know Javi’s from here. And I know it wasn’t nice to say that.”

Right away, I know this is Cassie’s doing, that she spoke with her daughter, that she told her to apologize. Again, the need to talk to Cassie is physical and urgent. I don’t know if we can go back to the way we were before either—if I’ll ever trust her again. But I want her to know, I need her to know, that I forgive her.

“I don’t think I’m the person you need to apologize to,” I tell her, because this isn’t about me and Cassie.

For a minute, she stares at me, debating what to do. Then she walks over to my son.

I watch them at the rail, too far away to hear what they’re saying. And then I gasp as Lily does something unimaginable. She hugs Javi. What’s more, Javi hugs her back. It’s over quickly, and Lily hurries over to her father, who has been leaning against the cabin, watching his daughter. When Dave glances over at me, I nod at him, acknowledging what just happened. There’s hope for them yet.