Page 49 of The Chaperones

“Not that I know of?”

“Well, your body seems to think otherwise.” The man stands. It’s Andrew Brown, the plastic surgeon. “Try to take it easy while we’re here. Do you know any breathing exercises?”

I’ve just been told by a plastic surgeon to do breathing exercises. Before I can respond with something I’d likely regret, Ray has his hand extended and says, “Thanks, Andrew. We’ll see he gets some rest.”

“You’re in one of the most beautiful corners of the world. What’s there to be stressed about?” Andrew spreads his arms like he’s some sort of savior.

I manage to hold up my hand in thanks as I focus on my breath, which is no longer labored despite the pain that lingers in my chest. Kai throws himself into my lap as Lei wraps his arms around me, jostling me such that something falls out of my pocket.

“I’m okay, guys.” I glance over at Ray, who looks deeply concerned. The panic rises in me again. He knows. Except, when I follow his sight line, he’s staring at the gummy tin in the grass beside my right thigh.

“How many of these have you had?” Ray asks.

“Just two.” Even I can hear how defensive this sounds. In my more youthful days, just two was valiant, a lighter day. At a campground with your kids when you promised yourself and your husband to limit the gummies until after dark, just two feels like an issue.

He hands the tin back to me in slow motion, and I wait for a chiding remark that doesn’t come. The boys continue to burrow into me, immune to the tension of the moment.

“Lei!” Javi waves as he appears at the mouth of the upper loop ahead of his mother. Lei turns to us for permission, which we immediately give, and he trots off with Kai in tow.

Once the boys are out of earshot, Ray grabs my hand.

“I’m sorry,” he says, with alarming urgency. It sends me spiraling, wondering if he’s been having an affair with one of the parents too. “It wasn’t right for me to spring all that on you.”

I stare at his reassuring face, trying to recall what he’s talking about.

“It’s just—this superstore, it’s always been my dream.” Right, the space in SoHo, the decisions he already made for our family. “I got carried away.” He sounds so earnest that I know he needs his words to be true, that he’s lying to himself as much as to me. Sure, he’s talked about this superstore before, but always in the abstract, as something amorphous and half baked. No, this isn’t about chasing a dream. It’s about running from one that’s been corrupted. One he corrupted. And now he expects us to abandon our lives so he can avoid confronting his mistakes.

“Obviously, we need to decide together if it’s the right move for our family. We’ll talk when we get home? Let’s enjoy the weekend.”

In his words, I hear what he doesn’t say. What he can’t know. Let Cassie go. It doesn’t matter. She doesn’t matter.

We hear laughter and see Dave on the ground. One of the other dude dads says, “You all right, man?” as he helps him up.

Dave stands, shrugs it off, and heads toward the cooler to grab another beer.

“They’re already three sheets to the wind,” Ray says. “They’ll be so shit-faced by dinner they won’t even taste the broth.”

Dave closes the cooler’s top and finds us across the way, tipping his bottle in our direction. His face is entirely devoid of the generic kindness I’ve always known from Dave. His sinister smirk sends a chill up my spine. He won’t be as forgiving as my husband, if he learns about me and Cassie.