Page 32 of The Chaperones

Sofía, the single mom

Javi and I are gathering our towels and dry clothes to head to the kayaking center when I see Cassie on the path from the hike above camp. She looks dazed, like she’s received bad news. My impulse is to check if she’s okay. Then I remember that I can’t be a friend to Cassie until I get this off my chest, before it calcifies and hardens me against her.

“Jav, mi amor, head up to the kayak center with Lei and Charles. I’ll meet you there in a few minutes. Don’t worry,” I add as he’s about to protest. “I won’t miss the boat.” He opens his mouth to fight me on this, but I insist. “I bet you’ll see three foxes on the way to the huts.”

“I bet I’ll see four.” He skips off.

Cassie’s so distracted, she doesn’t notice me waiting for her at the bottom of the trail.

She nearly runs into me, putting her hand to her heart. “You scared me.”

“You okay?” I ask.

She sighs. “Just Travis. He’s not even here, and he’s managing to ruin the trip.”

Cassie is fiercely loyal to everyone she lets in, but especially to her brother. I still don’t know what to think about Travis. I see all types in the hospital. Men who bark orders at me. Men who thank me for every little thing. Men who constantly ask questions. Men who are on their phones throughout the mother and child’s stay. While it’s given me insight into men, it’s never given me clarity on Travis. He seems sad, except it’s hard to feel bad for him because he’s also a rich kid whose sister has always bailed him out, so much so that he doesn’t know how to fend for himself. At some level, I think Cassie likes how helpless he is. She gets to take care of him. Even now, I don’t quite believe her words as she complains about him.

But we aren’t here to talk about Travis.

“Do you have a minute?”

“Always.” She weaves her arm through mine, and we walk toward the chairs outside our tents. I search the campground for Javi. I don’t see him. Or Charles and Lei.

“My god, it’s beautiful here. I hate to give Mona credit, but this was a good idea.” Her comment makes me realize I’m right. Being mean to Mona is so second nature to Cassie, she doesn’t even realize she’s doing it. She must do it in front of Lily. Lily must have learned how cutting an offhanded comment can be.

Cassie flops into one of the chairs outside her tent, where Dave is snoring.

“Dave,” she shouts. “If you don’t get up, you’ll miss kayaking.”

He murmurs something unintelligible, and Cassie shakes her head at me.

“Where’s Lily?” I don’t think I can do this with her here.

“I think she’s at the beach with Sawyer? They wanted to sunbathe.” She says this like, Girls will be girls, and they will, especially when their parents don’t keep careful watch over them. I can’t imagine letting Javi run free. It’s an island, nowhere they can disappear, but there are plenty of threats here. Unstable cliffs, wild animals, and strangers we don’t know.

“Dave,” she shouts.

“I’m up. I’m up.” Dave tumbles out of the tent, hair matted on one side. He stretches, kisses Cassie on the cheek before wandering over to the cooler by Raymond’s kitchen station to grab a La Croix. His back is to us as he says something that makes Raymond laugh. This is all so much simpler for the fathers. They get to be easygoing, even with their wives’ least favorite parents.

“So, what’d you want to talk about?” Cassie says casually, as if I’m looking for fashion advice. This doesn’t have to be a big deal. Cassie will be horrified. She’ll fix it. And we’ll move on, closer than before.

“I wanted to run something by you that Javi told me.” My heart races. Conflict brings back those weak feelings with my ex, reminds me of the girl I was a decade ago. This is different, I remind myself. Cassie doesn’t have an explosive temper. She isn’t trying to control me.

“It’s about something Lily said to him.” I pause. Why am I pausing? Rip the Band-Aid off. Don’t drag this out.

Cassie’s eyes are wide, her face open. Waiting.

“She asked him if he was legal.”

It took an ice cream sundae and twenty questions to get Javi to talk to me about it. He knew I wouldn’t passively accept this information like his grandmother did. That calmness was for his benefit. When Ita caught me up on what Javi had told her, she was so angry she was shaking. Javi was working on a group reading project with Lily and River, one of the popular boys. Javi had read the book, and they hadn’t. They were trying to get him to do all the work, and to my son’s credit, he wouldn’t. They were supposed to make a presentation on a Google doc their lead teacher had set up for them. Javi explained that anyone with access can comment on a Google document, that some of his classmates use it to talk to each other about things outside the assignments. The comments can be erased before the teacher sees. I didn’t understand the details. I’ve never used Google Docs. Essentially, I gathered that it’s a way to text over Google Classroom since the Chester School is firmly wait till eighth grade for phones and smartwatches. I guess Lily has a crush on River, and sweet Javi, generous even with someone who was being cruel to him, told me that she was trying to impress River when she’d written Are you actually even legal? He knew she didn’t mean it.

“But Javi’s from here. Lily knows that,” Cassie says, confused.

It’s the same thing Javi had said when he told me what happened. We’re Californios. He’d said this with the pride I’ve taught him to feel about our heritage. We were here before statehood. This land has belonged to us longer than it has to them.

It was her next words that had stung him, how she’d added No one wants you here before the message was erased and disappeared, forever seared in my son’s mind.

Cassie stares at the hills, deciding what to say next. I can tell that she wants to be considerate. I can also see that she doesn’t believe me.