Page 97 of Reticent

“Fuck that.” Hunter climbs out of bed, stark naked, his muscles flexing as he stalks over to me. “It can be whatever we want it to be.”

“Well, this is the way I want it. I thought it was what you wanted too, Mr. I Don’t Do Relationships?”

His gaze narrows a fraction. “I’m not allowed to change my mind?”

No. He can’t. That’s not how this works. “Don’t do this. Don’t complicate things. Nothing’s changed. We’re still not right for each other.”

He runs both hands through his hair, pulling at the strands. “That’s bullshit and you know it. We’re perfect for each other.”

My eyes slip closed as I rub the middle of my forehead. “Just because I wanted to be with you back then, doesn’t mean—”

“You wanted to be with me?”

My eyes snap open. “Are you kidding me right now? I was in love with you!” The words fly out of my mouth as it feels like a grenade went off in the room.

He looks dumbfounded, literally taken aback. “You were in love with me?”

A sad chuckle falls from my lips. “Like you didn’t know.” How did he not know? Everyone else did. Was he that blind or did he only see what he wanted to see?

“I didn’t. I knew you had feelings for me, but I didn’t—”

“It doesn’t matter now. Accept that what we have is enough.”

“I can’t. I won’t.” He gathers my face in his hands, dipping his head so that we’re eye to eye.

“Why not?” I roll my lips to keep them from trembling.

“Because I love you.” The emotion swimming in his eyes makes me want to believe him. But then I remind myself of all the things he said about love and relationships. What if he changes his mind? What if I allow myself to fall completely and he doesn’t catch me?

I’ve wanted to hear him say that for so long. But now that he has… I don’t know if it’s real. My heart wants me to believe him. But my mind and my gut… “No. You don’t. You just don’t want to lose me.”

His jaw sets. “Don’t fucking tell me how I feel.”

Tears sting my eyes, clouding my vision. “Just let me go.”

Pain and wild desperation flickers in his eyes. “I’ll never let you go.”

There’s too much at stake. My heart is on the line here. This. This is why I used to play it safe with guys. What have I done? What have we done? “I can’t do this.”

“Yes, you can. You still love me, baby. Admit it. Let me in.” He crushes his mouth to mine, and I allow myself to get caught up in the moment until I realize what’s at stake—my heart.

I tear my mouth from his and stumble back. “No. I don’t want this. I don’t want … you.” My words saw my heart in half, like a dull blade tearing through flesh.

Hunter looks like I’ve wounded him, but he advances anyway, moving into my personal space and holding my face once more. “You don’t mean that.”

Lock it away, Yasmine. Protect yourself.

I swallow back my tears. “I don’t love you anymore.”

It’s the biggest lie I’ve ever told, and I immediately hate myself. What am I doing? Why can't I get out of my own way? This is what I wanted. Love is staring me right in the face, and now I’m reticent.

He shakes his head in denial, as his face flushes and his nostril flare. “I don’t believe you.”

“I can’t …” I bite the inside of my cheek so hard, I taste blood.

Liam’s piercing cry jolts our attention to the baby monitor. Hunter drops his hands from my face, and I want them back there. I miss their warmth. But Liam’s cry has me on alert. And when Liam starts to cough, Hunter and I put aside everything that’s going on between us and head to the nursery. In this moment, nothing else matters. Liam is the priority.

Chapter Forty