Page 4 of Clean Finish

The blot of smooth, unblemished periwinkle skin, bright pink hair and pastel jewel-toned wings in my peripheral vision was like a beacon, commanding all my attention, perking up every instinct I had to get close and share heat and protect. That was why I stayed in my human form sometimes even when I didn’t have to down here—those instincts were slightly more muted that way.

I wished I’d stayed in my human form now, but Larkin had been gone for hours, hanging out with all the wrestlers instead of doing work because Holt had spent most of the day with Taylor, so I’d leaped at the chance to sit down and get comfortable without being so infuriatingly distracted.

But now he was back, and if I got up and left straight away, he’d probably take it personally. Well, it was personal, but it wasn’t his fault. He didn’t know how much he affected me. He’d never done anything to encourage my feelings. Sometimes it felt like he barely even noticed me.

I despised that juvenile sense of invisibility, and I squashed down the urge to make him notice me. I was thirty-five fucking years old. I didn’t need to act out to make the beautiful young fae I worked with pay attention to me. I refused to behave like a sullen teenager with an unrequited crush.

Unfortunately, that resolve did nothing to temper the actual feelings. I wished it were just lust. Something simple and easily sated. If it had just been lust, I could’ve gone out and found some other beautiful fae guy to satisfy the urge. Maybe one closer to my age, who wasn’t so insecure and flighty and incapable of taking anything seriously.

But it wasn’t. It wasn’t just lust. So here I was, once again greedily soaking up these few moments alone with him, even though we weren’t interacting, while simultaneously wanting to get away from him so I didn’t have to sit here pretending I felt nothing.

He was on the other side of the room, sitting at his desk, but I could still smell him. He always smelled sweet, like caramel, but a little smoky too. Like a candy apple eaten by a bonfire in the fall.

It reminded me of pack hunts when I was young. In the colder months, my mom would make all of us kids candy apples to eat as we huddled around the bonfire together, after we inevitably got tired of playing as pups long before the adults were done racing through the woods and howling at the full moon. My mom was always the one who’d stayed behind with us kids, because she had a limp and running was too much for her, but she seemed to love those big pack nights anyway. She was always smiling as she kept an eye on us while we chased each other and puppy-piled near the fire, calling us back if we wandered too far.

Giving my watch a discreet glance, I figured five minutes was long enough for it to not seem like I was trying to get away from Larkin. He’d been staring at me anyway—I could feel it—but he tended to zone out and gaze into the middle distance a lot. His left eye always drifted a little when he did. I hated how cute I found it.

Tucking my pencil between the pages of my crossword book, I set it down and reached for my socks and shoes as I shifted back into my human form.

“Are you leaving?” Larkin asked abruptly, his voice a little hoarse.

He seemed tense all of a sudden. Edgy. I forced my expression to remain blank, even though now I was wondering if anything had happened with one of the wrestlers.

I wondered about it constantly, and I didn’t like the ugly feeling that always rose when I thought about Larkin finally deciding to fool around with one of them. He always backed off when the flirting got a bit too intense, but he also still talked constantly about fucking the wrestlers. One day, he actually would. I was sure of it.

“Just going to wait outside,” I answered him flatly. “Holt should be on his way in soon.”

“He is. He texted me.” Larkin fidgeted in his chair, probably a bit resentful that he’d had to come back here instead of staying with the wrestlers. “Taylor’s with him.”

My mouth almost twitched into a smile. I liked the human, Taylor. He seemed gentle and sweet, and Holt was already infatuated with him. They’d only met a couple of weeks ago, but it already seemed like they were constantly together.

Must be nice to want someone and have them want you back.

I let out a silent sigh. I definitely had to get away from Larkin before my thoughts grew any more self-pitying and miserable. Shoes back on, I stood and gave him a brief nod, my chest tightening when I saw him gazing at me, his eyes big and guileless and such a pretty jewel blue.

He was so beautiful that it’d actually made me breathless the first time I’d seen him, the day he’d come in for his interview with Holt. I’d had the task of meeting him upstairs in the lobby to bring him down to the club, and I’d known he was fae the moment he walked inside, even though he’d been in his human skin. His hair had still been bright pink, tied back into a bun neater than he’d ever worn it since, and his eyes still big and blue, but his skin a pale, peachy hue.

Larkin was, in my opinion, stunning. I didn’t understand how anyone could look at him and not fall instantly in… lust. He was tall and lanky, with long legs and gangly arms and thin, big-knuckled fingers. His face was narrow, with high cheekbones, a small nose and a lush little mouth that had stretched into a nervous grin when I stood up to greet him that day.

As we’d been walking down the staircase and toward Holt’s office, he’d shifted into his fae form. Small insectoid wings in gleaming pastel shades had emerged gracefully from the discreet slits in the back of his slightly-too-big suit. His skin had melted into a pale blue. His eyes had become even more luminous and jewel-like.

He’d been fiddling anxiously with his suit buttons as we walked, firing off rapid, hushed questions about Holt and what it was like working for him and whether he’d get to meet the wrestlers if he got the job.

By the time we’d reached Holt’s office, I already wanted him desperately.

But Larkin was nothing if not oblivious, so he hadn’t noticed. He’d never noticed. No one had. Not even Holt, an empyn who could sense others’ emotions. But I wasn’t young and carefree like Larkin—I was good at shielding what I was feeling so others couldn’t pry. Besides, I didn’t think Holt particularly enjoyed being smacked in the face with every emotion his employees were feeling when he walked into the office, so I figured it was polite to close myself off.

A few minutes after I got settled with my crossword outside the door, he and Taylor appeared, looking relaxed and flushed with happiness and already madly in love with each other. After greeting me, they went inside and I closed the door behind them, but I could hear the conversation as they said hello to Larkin.

When he replied, my ears pricked up even more. He still sounded… off. A little weird. I shoved down the instinct to rush inside and see what was wrong, figure out how I could make him feel better.

That wasn’t my place.

“So, what have you guys been up to today?” Larkin asked, sounding a little subdued. Or maybe distracted.

Taylor said something about going shopping and “just hanging out,” but his voice was thick with embarrassment, which most likely meant they’d spent the bulk of the day fucking.

“We saw Ethel,” Holt then said, referring to an elderly lizard shifter who was a regular at the club. My hand clenched tighter around the pencil when he added, “She mentioned trying to set you up with her granddaughter.”