Page 8 of Radiant

“Ethan.” Auris’s face appeared in front of me. “Ethan. It was just people. They didn’t even see you. This was not about you.”

I bobbed my head as if I understood anything he was saying. I didn’t. But he touched my cheek with the palm of his hand, the shopping bag dangling from his other wrist. I looked at that, the bag so heavy and pulling on his wrist like that. My lips were dry. I reached for his wrist to get the bag off.

“So heavy.” My voice sounded far away, but I knew I was imagining that. I knew I was out of it, out of step, out of the moment. “Can we go home?”

“Yes. My sweet, leave the—do you want to carry the bag?”

I had no idea, but it looked as if it would hurt him. The jacket was so heavy.

“Yes.”

Auris nodded and handed me the shopping. He then took my free hand and squeezed tightly. “Come along. It’s not far. Do you have the bag?”

“Yes. My camera?” I felt it against my side, exhaled. “Got it.”

“You do. We can go out so you can take more photos tomorrow and the day after. You’ll be warmer then.”

I nodded. I hadn’t really left the house, not since the priest had taken me. It dawned on me that while I hadn’t even thought about that during our outing, Auris must have. He’d let me see everything and anything that caught my interest, and he’d flirted or entertained me with stories throughout. He’d distracted me.

I didn’t want all that to have been in vain, and I didn’t want these few minutes to end our first day here. I focused on my breathing as we navigated the darkening city in the glow of artificial lights.

“Wait. Food. I think I need food. Can we go have food?”

I felt his attention on me and had to make a conscious effort to meet his night-dark eyes.

“Of course. There is a place that Jan said was good, and it’s not far, but we can also have dinner at home if you’d rather.”

I wanted to go home and hide, but even so, I said, “Let’s go there.”

Auris nodded. He took me to a restaurant that served Malaysian cuisine, and one wall of the basement space it occupied was covered in jungle wallpaper with yellow eyes peering out. The eyes weren’t real, but the fear that had almost overtaken me completely was.

I decided to let Auris’s manager take over from my old manager that evening after we got back to the apartment. I also asked Auris whether he would be able and willing to take care of my apartment. I didn’t want to think about giving it up, and asking someone else to handle it was definitely going to put my mind at ease. I’d be able to shut everything out and focus on the now.

Auris didn’t exactly agree. He took my arm and led me to the bedroom. The housekeeper, who I still hadn’t met, had made the bed in our absence.

“What are we doing?” I asked as Auris peeled the duvet and sheets off and piled them on the floor in front of the fireplace.

“I’m going to light the fire, and you are going to watch me.”

“From the blanket nest on the floor?”

“That’s right.”

Intrigued by what he was going for, I settled down on a pillow, my eyes on him as he took his tie off. He rolled up his sleeves and picked up the first log.

“White Ash.” He rapped his knuckles against it. “This will smell good.”

“Can’t wait.”

His meditative task ended when he struck a match and lit the kindling. He walked to the door and killed the overhead lights while the flames began to feast.

The room vanished around me, its camouflage of blacks perfectly suited to invisibility in firelight apart from the gold and the ever-present mirrors that created ghost-like flickers of brightness. Auris moved in his silent way until he sat behind me, offering himself as my backrest, much like he had done on the train.

His breath tickled my neck. “Have I ever told you about the one who made me a vampire?”

“Tell me. I want to hear that story.”

Auris chuckled. “Not the whole story, perhaps, but some of it. It doesn’t start with me, but with my mother.”