Page 21 of Emeric

“We’re not his best friend.”

“If you think that makes any difference in this situation, you’re wrong. The only reason he won’t get you back is because of Jordan. Cat, you might get a glare from Sheldon too, but he’ll leave you alone. I already have a plan to get him off my back.” With that, I typed a quick message and sent it to Forest with the photo. I showed it to Vail.

“You’re devious.”

I shrugged. “I have to be, but I also love it.” I finished my cake with a smile as I overheard Carson tell Sheldon he had to make train sounds while he played. Maybe I needed to do something more than what I already had to appease Sheldon.

Sneaking down the hall, I found Carson’s room and took another photo of Sheldon sitting on the floor with him as they played trains. This time, Sheldon didn’t see me. I quickly sent the photo to Forest. I’d just helped my cause. Hopefully, that was enough.

I quickly returned to the living room to stand guard. There was always a part of my attention on Vail. No matter where he was or what I was doing, I knew how to protect him. I would risk my life to do so. Stepping away for a few seconds was fine unless Vail was under immediate threat.

Cat was telling Dana how it was all his fault she was pregnant and how nothing tasted good to her. Dana started listing the different foods he’d made her since they found out she was expecting. I could feel Cat’s tension rise. She wasn’t planning on having another child, and here she was with a bunch of pregnancy symptoms she wasn’t thrilled about.

Years ago, this probably would have eaten at me. It wasn’t that I thought Cat wasn’t happy about the life she had growing inside her. She was an amazing mother and would love the baby as much as she did her other kids. It would have made me wish it were me who was going to have a child.

I wasn’t the same person I used to be. I still got sad thinking about Avery and what we could have had. But I tried to live my life in the present. I couldn’t undo the past. Even if I could, Avery couldn’t have been saved with her condition. I was still here. I had to live to the fullest, not only for me, but for her too.

So, instead of wishing for something I didn’t have, I smiled at Cat and Dana’s conversation and soaked in the love in the room. It was still there while they argued.

“You’re going to name the baby Oleander right?” I asked. “I just wanted to make sure, since it’s a great name.”

“So’s Sheldon!” my best friend yelled from the other room. “Oleander is just okay. Sheldon is fantastic.”

“Shelly!” Carson yelled. “You can’t put that train on that track. It doesn’t go there.”

“I’m… sorry?”

I chuckled. “He’s never coming here again.”

“Yes, he is,” Cat replied, leaning back on the couch. “He can’t pass up Dana’s baking or my sweet personality.”

“Ha!” Sheldon yelled.

They traded comments for a bit while I leaned against the wall, listening to them. I knew better than most that family wasn’t only made of blood. My parents gave me a loving home, then offered it to Sheldon. Here were Cat and Dana doing the same for us. There were good people out there; you just had to wait for them to show themselves. Without Vail coming into Jordan’s life, I wouldn’t have ever met the wonderful people before me.

9

SYLVAN

It wasn’t that big of a deal, right? People asked other people out on dates all the time. The key was, they weren’t me. And yet, here I was waiting for a text back. It sat delivered but not read. How did everyone do this?

Sweat beaded on my forehead, and my hands shook. There wasn’t enough air in my lungs. I had to get up and move. That would help. Maybe if I folded laundry or vacuumed. Something. Anything before the anxiety fully took hold.

Looking down at my phone, I saw the message sitting there.

Me: Would you like to have dinner with me?

“Oh god,” I whimpered, and not in a good, sexy way. This was distress, pure worried misery.

A week of me going back and forth, wondering what I should do, had led to this sad text he probably wouldn’t read, let alone answer.

In any other area, I tried to be a positive person, even if my anxiety sometimes got in the way. Right now, I was a mess. Definitely not positive, only expecting the negative.

There were two men I desired. Who the hell was I to even contemplate that? Too bad I couldn’t get up the nerve to ask them both out, so I texted the one who would hurt less if he said no. And by less, I meant only because I didn’t know him well.

Asking Oleander out would be akin to removing my heart from my chest. The sheer courage it would take would be unreal. It had been years of me wanting him. Years of me keeping my thoughts to myself and blushing around him.

Emeric was easier. It didn’t feel like I had much to lose by texting him. Sure, it would sting to be rejected. I wouldn’t ask Oleander out after that. I could only handle so much.