Page 85 of Almost Not Quite Engaged

“I know a little something about hiding who you are and who you want. Go ahead for now but it’s all gonna come out.”

We’re wandering through the park on the muddy pathway that may have been paved at some point but it’s simply a swamp right now. Our shoes squinch and slide across the mud. I squat down to look closer.

I lean back and take a series of shots of the inky sky clutching the night as it dissipates through the trees.

I’m damp as hell as we walk on. The trees keep shaking off the wet leaves and it’s as if we’re getting rained on. Court takes my camera bag and tripod for me as we start looking at trees.

We move from tree to tree searching for Zane’s. I see the lake. It’s murky. You can tell it’ll yield to the day and attempt to become as cheery as possible in the middle of this polluted city. Just like the people I’ve met. And there’s an umbrella Lorax Truffula Tree hanging over the lake. “There! It has to be there.”

“Hey. Look at me.” I glare at my sister and she takes my picture with her phone. “To mark your beginning.” If I look cute, I’ll post it.

I take a picture of my left hand in the foreground, ring sparkling in the glow of morning. I circle the giant hanging tree, and there it is, not freshly carved but fresh enough to find it. I trace the three connecting lines with my finger. I snap it, then run back to position my tripod. Just as the sun illuminates everything, I start shooting. Twenty minutes, 120 pictures later, and the light’s gone. I set the timer and call out to Courtney. I show her Zane’s Z. She takes out a Leatherman knife.

“Why do you have a weapon?”

“Ben. He said I might need it someday.”

“It’s someday!” I carve KAT next to the Z. No plus sign, just my initials beside his, not under or over.

My body fills with a weird soul energy, and I feel lighter. We’re grinning like lunatics. This moment isn’t about Zane or my list.

And then I feel it. A drop of rain for real, not tree runoff. I grab my bag and put my camera and tripod in it but when I’m zipping it up the rain is coming down even harder.

“Um. That escalated quickly.” The lake looks like popcorn as hard rain splashes it up.

“What the fuck?” The ground gives a little and my left leg slides out. “Courtney! Quicksand.”

She screams over the rain that’s now a sheet of water between us. “That’s not a thing!”

“I’m sinking. I’m going to die. Take the camera.”

“Why are you sinking?” She pulls her foot out of the wet mud and her shoe comes off.

“I’m barefoot. I’ll get tetanus or foreign worms if I go over there!”

“I’m sinking!” I’m not actually, I’m holding a weird stretched out position and the rain somehow comes down harder. I wish I had his hat on. I try to move my foot but it slides right back down.

“You need to risk hookworm and come get me. I’ll get your shoe.”

“How is this rain?” she yells.

“Can we talk about that later?!”

She picks up her other foot and keeps her other shoe on and makes her way over to me in the quicksand.

She says, “Now what?”

“You’re kidding? Get me up.”

“I’m not that strong. We’re going to die because you had to see this fucking tree.”

“It’s not the tree’s fault. Use my armpits.”

She wraps her arms around me under my armpits and pulls, and I scramble to find my footing. The mud now becoming more of a makeshift lake. I cling to her and eventually push her backward a little to get away from the quicksand.

I reach over and yank her shoe with a severe sploosh. “The park does not want to give it back. Consider it a sacrifice and let’s get the hell out of here.”

“Get My Shoe!” I yank again and it pops out. I hold it up to the rain to get the mud out and off of it. Wind has kicked up and both of our faces are pasted with our hair. A leaf falls in my mouth and a ball of mud hits her.