Page 6 of Almost Not Quite Engaged

“You saw the beginning. When it was all jackass meets some drunken reality show. It’s something different now. They’re asking me to find different types of stories. I want to show how travel changes them. What can happen when you listen to the stories being told instead of creating your own in different places in the world. That’s what I’m doing.”

“The show could go away at any moment,” my father asserts.

He isn’t wrong. That’s the part I can’t argue around. He knows it too, which is why he waits.

“I would like grandchildren and for you to settle,” Mom says, quietly, like that’s a reasonable thing to drop into this conversation.

“You have seven. You even have some extras from Nate’s second wife’s first marriage.”

“Yes, but they’re not your children.”

“Why do you need mine?” That’s not even a thought in my head anywhere.

“Something tells me they’ll be interesting.” She smirks at me, and I exhale slowly.

“I get myself together under one of your great life pillars and you’ll release the money?”

“We’ll portion it out at first.”

“Do I have to take out the garbage to get my allowance?” I snipe.

My father leans back on the edge of his huge dark wood desk. “Yes.”

I stand up, kiss my mother on the cheek, look at my father. And it’s out of my mouth before I can stop it. “And just so you can ruin this too, I’m engaged.” My mother pops up and my father cocks a brow at me. Pulled that right out of my ass.

“Zane! Darling. This is incredible. What? When? Who?”

I use my lie like a weapon. I hug my mother and glare at my father as he causally attempts to take away my crew’s health insurance, salary and employment. But this moronic idea might save all of us.

“I wanted to wait until after Nate’s wedding, but thanks for fucking with my surprise and privacy. Oh and thanks for making it a requirement instead of a joyous occasion. Congratulations to me.” I spit out while I spin out.

“Is she from a good family?” my mother asks. Of course, she does.

“Son.” He calls after me as I walk out. “Step back here, please.”

“No time. Have to go fire some really great people.”

“The funds will be in your bank tomorrow,” he bellows as my mother scurries behind me. I have to run away from this lie that worked so well. How pathetic is it that a lie is all it took. I feel like shit, but I don’t think I have a choice. I love my parents but this is a means to an end. Someday I’ll pay them back, but for now, I’ll cash the check. I need time to make the show perfect and this lie buys it.

I open the door, and my mom runs after me.

“You are bringing her to Hawaii for the wedding?” Now I feel like shit again, I push it down. Her face is so hopeful.

“She might have to work but she’s trying.” There are tears in her eyes as my heart seizes. She’s so happy for me. Or herself. Either way I fucked up. I pull her into my arms and kiss her perfectly coiffed head.

“I’ll be there. I promise.”

“You promise promise?”

I smile as she gives me a big hug. “Promise promise.”

“It’ll be nice family time.”

My next two locations don’t involve alcohol. Trust me, Hawaii will.

I need a drink and a sympathetic ear. I drive three hours just to open the door of my best friend’s pub, The Little Bird, and yell, “Colin! “Yo.”

Colin appears from the back room, “Why are you here?” He hugs me and I feel as if I’m me again. My parents steal my equilibrium as well as my sanity.