Page 101 of Almost Not Quite Engaged

All By Myself

KAT

Seychelles

This is an extravagance but worth every sun-soaked second. I sip a bubblegum-pink cocktail and make a long overdue phone call.

“You said you’d call every day.”

“Never said that.”

My mother scolds me. “You did and do the check in with me thing.”

“That’s not a thing. And not a thing I do. But good talk Mom. I’ll call back when you’re not insane.”

“Your brother and sister are gone. You’re gone. No one is telling me anything. I’ve just come up for air on this engagement debacle.” I grin knowing she’s not even concerned or aware that everyone in her life knows we’re in a random foreign country but her. It’s like the Emperor has no clothes but hers are Chanel. “I finally got the announcement into all the right places on the same day. I didn’t want anyone to feel scooped.”

“By the engagement of two strangers? Where did you put it?”

“New York Times, that was a lot of string pulling, Boston Globe, of course, San Francisco Chronicle…”

“We know next to no one in California.”

“And the Times Union for the Hudson Valley news, which was tricky.”

“Isn’t that a website now?”

“And they didn’t do engagement or wedding announcements, but they do now.”

“You made them hire you, didn’t you?”

“It’s a six-month trial basis then I’ll pass the torch.”

“You’re more gainfully employed than I am.”

“Job’s yours if you want it in six months. Please tell me you looked at the links I sent. You have to choose your engagement party dress, one that doesn’t look too trashy please so we can start to build out the color scheme.”

“Always a delight to talk to you.”

“Summit? Bridesmaids?”

“No Summit. And you know the answer to that question. And toss in Felicia and Delilah. And Liesel is a groomsman.”

“Birdie hasn’t heard from him. Wait, what? A female groomsman? Is he there? Can I ask him a few questions we need cleared up about suit colors?”

“The love of my life is in the shower but I’ll let him know about the wedding emergency.”

“Will this Liesel be wearing a suit?” I yell as if she’s around.

“Liesel? Yo. Girlfriend.” What the fuck? Girlfriend? Who am I? I’m not selling this well. I need to calm down and be normal. “Hey there, Liesel. Do you want to wear a suit at the wedding?”

“Suit. Absolutely, without a doubt, suit.”

“Is that his friend?” My smile gets huge.

“Producer. Gotta go Mom.”

I toss my phone into my bag as it dies.