Page 183 of Face Off

“You blocked me.”

“Because I wanted you gone.”

“I know.”

“Then stop making me defend it or explain what I choose to share and what I don’t. It’s none of your fucking business.”

“I’m not asking you to defend leaving me. I’m asking you to stop treating every question like I’m trying to fucking undo it.”

Ryan dragged both hands over his face before turning away from me. “I can’t do this shit right now.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m barely holding my shit together.”

He turned back so quickly the movement made me straighten.

“I’ve spent two days touching you, laughing with you, sleeping with you, fucking you, and remembering every single reason I wanted a life with you. Now I have to walk into a room with your father after having a conversation with your mother I didn’t fucking ask to have, and you’re pissed because I won’t tear open fifteen months of damage between cocktails on your schedule.”

“It isn’t about my schedule.”

“It became about your schedule the second later wasn’t good enough.”

“Because later was what everyone told me while they decided I couldn’t handle my own life.”

“This is about my life!” His voice cracked again before he forced it lower. “My pain. My fucking damage. You don’t get answers simply because you finally found the courage to ask.”

The truth landed hard enough to make me hate that he was right.

My anger did not give me ownership over every wound I caused, and wanting to understand him did not mean he owed me blood on command. Ryan had spent our entire relationship asking me to let him in while I controlled almost every piece of truth he received.

Understanding that didn’t make his silence hurt less.

“I don’t just want answers,” I said. “I want the chance to stop hurting you through ignorance.”

His mouth twisted. “You think knowledge fixes what happened?”

“No. I think knowing the man I’m fighting for fucking matters.”

“You know the man standing in front of you.”

“I know what you’ve allowed me to see for two days. Sex. Anger. Humor. Enough tenderness to keep me hoping, followed by another warning that Sunday changes nothing.” My voice cracked, but I refused to lower it. “I don’t know what happened after you left me because you made sure I couldn’t.”

“I needed you gone.”

“I know.”

“I needed one place in my life where your pain didn’t become more important than mine.”

My eyes burned. “I know.”

“No, Charm.” His laugh was dark enough to hurt. “You know what happened between us. You don’t know what I suffered after.”

Something cold moved beneath my skin. “I know about your hand.”

“You know I broke it.”

“I know you needed surgery.”