Page 152 of Face Off

I didn’t stop.

I didn’t lift my head or let the tears gathering behind my eyes reach my lashes. Ryan’s body had spoken before his anger could censor it, and pointing to the mistake would only make him retreat.

So I followed the hand in my hair.

I followed the rough movement of his hips and the clues his body had always given me. I took him deeper and let the name settle inside me without asking him to explain it.

Ryan’s head lowered.

Our eyes met.

He knew what he had said.

I saw the instant recognition in his face, followed by the warning that entered his grip. Not anger at me. Anger at himself for allowing something tender to survive in this room.

I moved faster before he could pull away.

“Fuck.” His thumb traced the corner of my mouth. “That’s it. Suck my dick…fuck! Just like that.”

No endearment this time.

No acknowledgment.

I gave him the same mercy he had once given me during every moment I was too frightened to name what was happening inside me.

Ryan caught beneath my arms and pulled me abruptly to my feet.

The loss made me protest, but his mouth covered mine before the sound fully formed. He kissed me as though he could take the name back from my tongue. I climbed onto his lap, and his hands closed around my hips, dragging me over him while he remained painfully hard between us.

“You were close,” I whispered.

“I’m not finishing in your mouth.”

“Why?”

“Because I want you on top of me.”

The directness sent another pulse of heat through me.

Ryan reached into the nightstand and removed a condom. The foil caught the light between us, and the old version of me would have transformed it into evidence that he had replaced me. She would have wondered how many women had been in his room and whether they had touched the body he still refused to show me.

I let the hurt exist without giving it a voice.

Ryan had been honest about other women. Protection wasn’t rejection, and sex wasn’t forgiveness. Both truths could occupy the same room without either destroying me.

His attention sharpened as he watched my face. “Problem?”

“No.”

“Don’t lie to make this easier.”

“I’m not.” I touched the packet in his hand. “I wanted to feel all of you, but I understand why you won’t give me that.”

Something shifted behind his expression.

Ryan opened the condom and rolled it on without answering.

“Shorts off,” he said.