Page 54 of Beautiful Monster

“Not your dad? Is that how you see me, Sunny?” His eyebrows are creased, and his face is contorted in anger, but his breathing is shallow. I know this look on him. He’s at war with himself again, fighting his demons and losing.

I shake my head slowly, not sure how he wants me to answer. Does he want me to treat him like my dad? That kiss he gave me earlier certainly says no. A flutter of warmth pools in my belly just thinking that. It’s too dirty, too obscure to admit…the idea of him filling both of those roles. The one who protects me, punishes me, pleasures me. My eyes nearly roll back in my head just thinking about it, and I have to bite my lip to keep from moaning.

“I’m not your boyfriend either, Sunny.”

The coldness in his statement cools the heat in my body. He’s not my boyfriend, and judging by his tone, he never will be.

His fingers touch my chin, lifting it up until his eyes meet mine. “I am a man, Sunny. And Liam is a nice guy, but I know what he’s thinking about you. I know that if you let him, he would shove his dick into you, but he wouldn’t know the first thing about making you feel good.”

A gasp escapes my lips at his words. Alexander has never spoken so vulgar, so dirty—at least not sober—and yet…I feel the moisture between my thighs.

“Then, what do you want me to do, Alex? Stay virginal and untouched forever?”

“You know what I want,” he mumbles as if he’s forgotten himself.

Pressing my shoulders back, I am in the mood to challenge him. “I’m not sure I do, Alexander.” I stretch out his name now that I know the effect it has on him.

His eyes flutter closed at the sound. Then, he steps an inch closer, and I fall back, sitting on the bed before he nestles himself between my knees.

“Lie down,” he commands, and I listen. My mouth feels dry, and the only sound I can hear now is the thrumming in my ears and the shaky intake of our breaths.

Alexander leans over my body, placing a hand next to my head while the other travels up my thigh.

“I can’t believe you let him touch you,” he growls, hovering over me.

I am suspended above us in the middle of an out-of-body experience as I grasp the reality that this is happening. He’s on top of me. He’s here in my bed.

“Well, you wouldn’t…”

“Is that what you want, Sunny? You want me to touch you?”

My head hangs back. “Please.”

Then, his head rests on my shoulder, and he looks more in pain than pleasure. I dig my fingers in his hair like I’m comforting him. Quietly, he moans. “I can’t stand the thought of someone else touching you, Sunny. I’m trying to get a hold of myself here, but I can’t seem to do it. I can’t stop wanting you.” Then, he presses a chaste kiss against my bare shoulder.

“Stop fighting it, then,” I whisper.

He lifts his head and stares into my eyes. “I have to, rain cloud. I have to fight it.”

“Just tonight, Alex. It’s just us, and it’s my birthday. So just for tonight…I want you to show me.”

“Show you what, baby?” he mumbles, kissing my collarbone.

“Show me what it’s supposed to feel like when a man touches me. Make me feel good.”

He lets out a tortured sound as he digs his head into my chest. “You’re killing me, rain cloud.”

I can’t help but chuckle quietly. “Touch me, Alexander. I need it.”

When he lifts his face to mine, his mouth crashes into my lips. He kisses me even deeper than he did outside, and it’s like he’s finally letting go of the restraints holding him back.

“Just tonight,” he mumbles against my lips.

I open my eyes and bite my lip. Then, I nod.

His hand returns to my inner thigh, and I tremble against his fingers. “Has anyone touched you here, Sunny?” he asks, his voice shaking.

“No,” I cry, pleading with him to touch me. “Please,” I beg.