Page 106 of Beautiful Monster

“I see that.” I try to laugh in return, but the good feeling gets caught in my throat.

He busies himself in the kitchen, and I can’t stop looking around his house. He’s made it a home. I can see signs of him living here, happy here. Whatever he’s working on in that office, it looks like he’s deep into something, and although I’m anxious to hear about it, I’m also dreading hearing about whatever it is.

Alexander has finally settled down. His house is a home. He got a fucking cat.

And I want him to leave it all behind to chase me to Belize, and then to who knows where.

I try to hold my smile for him, but while I watch him cook, sitting at the counter, I can’t stop weighing these options in my mind.

Turning down this job feels impossible.

Leaving him again…even more impossible.

But what choice do I have? It’s not fair for me to ask him to uproot his life again, not when he’s come so far. What if doing so would throw him back into his old behavior? What if the party scene in Belize brings out the old Alexander and ruins all of his progress?

I have a feeling that if I asked, he would undoubtedly say yes.

And I can’t take that risk.

While he’s busy stirring the pasta on the stove top, his back to me, I pull out my phone and shoot a quick text to Valerie. As soon as it’s sent, I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders.

There will be other jobs. I can find fulfilling work here in Pineridge. Now there is absolutely nothing standing in the way between Alexander and me.

When we sit down to eat, we lift our sparkling waters in the air as a toast. “All right, so tell me everything. Did you get any job offers yet?”

I knew this question was coming, and I won't lie to Alex, but I have to find a way around it.

“A couple, but I’m weighing my options.”

“That’s amazing,” he says with a smile. “I’m so proud of you.”

Looking at him, sitting across from me, happier than I’ve ever seen him, I feel myself falling all over again. “I’m proud of you, too.”

“I haven’t changed too much?” he asks with a wink as he leans back in his chair.

“You’re still a cocky prick most of the time, right?”

His smile stretches. “Of course.”

“Good,” I answer with a grin.

The moment grows tense as he stares at me, and I feel the heavy questions on his lips. “About that night, Sunny…”

“I’m glad you told me everything, Alex. But it didn’t change anything for me.”

He leans forward and takes my hand. “I don’t deserve you. It just doesn’t feel right…”

Still grappling with his troubled past, I see the struggle in his expression, and I can’t bear to be this far away from him, so I close the distance and climb onto his lap, kissing his lips.

“You were so afraid that I would come out of this worse for having been with you, but do you see how much you’ve changed me? I’m not afraid of anything anymore. I had no one in my corner, Alex. Then, I had you. You didn’t make me worse, you made me better.”

When his mouth finds mine, he kisses me with everything he has. The struggle is gone, and I give it all right back to him. This time, I don’t let him stop as I kiss down his cheek to his neck, working the buttons on his shirt at the same time.

Suddenly, we’re standing, and he’s holding me with my legs wrapped around his waist. His hands are hard against my backside as he pulls me tight against him. Walking up to the bedroom, I’m desperate for his body.

Slowly, he drops me to the bed, climbing over me. He lifts my shirt over my head, trailing kisses from my belly, up to my neck, and then to my mouth. We are both starved for each other as the clothes start flying until there is nothing left between us.

With his lips around my nipple and his fingers deep between my legs, I nearly come for the first time in six months, but he pulls away just as I almost crest the peak. I let out a cry as he moves away. Looking down at me, he smiles a wicked grin, knowing exactly what he’s doing to me.