Page 74 of What Rough Beast

“My soul?” I ask, staring at Widow blankly. “But I—”

“He needs it,” Widow says patiently, tucking some hair behind my ear.

“I need it,” I bite back, whatever’s inside of me that is still Ava Germaine pushing me to fight, to tell the world it’s wrong and I’m not.

“You don’t.” Hailey shakes her head, apparently prepared to draw things out as she sits down next to me, bringing the egg with her. She pats it, and it stretches under her hand, reaching for her. “We can get it out; you might not die. You probably won’t be quite right, though, like my grandpa, maybe. We don’t really know.”

“Your grandpa?” I ask, remembering Pete, trying so hard, pointing down his throat as bees buzzed around us, mumbling, muttering, trying to vocalize, trying to—

“He was trying to tell me,” I realize. “He knew something was inside me.”

“Yeah, that’s our half of the bargain,” Hailey says, brushing her fingers along the egg. “The Wagners give up a soul for a Zedeker and whoever carries the Zertrenner asks it for what they need. It’s not like a genie, though; it doesn’t grant wishes. You can’t ask for something you want, it has to be something you need. And it’ll come to you, if the Zertrenner deems it necessary.”

The German rolls off her tongue easily, like Widow. My eyes go to her, still crouched in front of me “The Zertrenner ?”

“The one who severs,” Widow explains, nodding toward my shoulder and the lump that is curled there, undulating just beneath my skin.

“So, Pete . . . Pete . . .” I trip over the words, my whole body shuddering.

“Everything with Pete went wrong,” Widow says calmly. “My brother was already dead; Mother was beside herself, and Father couldn’t stand seeing her that way. So, Pete offered to try.”

“Try what?” I ask.

Widow looks at Hailey, who picks up the thread.

“Grandpa offered to host the Zertrenner. Mom said they didn’t know what it would do to him, since there wasn’t anything waiting to be born, just something already dead. It didn’t go so well. Tore his soul out all at once, messed him up. I don’t think he even had time to ask for anything. If he did, he didn’t get it.”

“And it didn’t take, anyway,” Widow goes on. “Typhus was still gone and getting colder.”

“How long has that thing been inside me?” I ask, mouth quivering with disgust.

“Hmmmm,” Hailey says, tilting her head to the side. “When would I have had the chance to put something inside your body without you knowing it?”

I remember my pants around my ankles, something wet on my thighs, my absolute disbelief when the rape kit was negative.

“Why the hell did you put it in through my vagina?” I ask, stunned.

Hailey tosses her hair, crouches next to Widow. “The Wagners aren’t exactly loved in this county. Quentin and I had to work for every ounce of good faith we got. We’re poor, we’re weird—up until this generation, anyway, although Grandpa does not help. But country people have long memories, and I figured if you told everyone that Hailey Wagner put a parasitic German soul severer into your body, there was a chance that someone might believe you. But you tell everyone you were raped?” She shrugs, raises one eyebrow.

“I hate that you’re right,” I tell her.

“Me too,” she says. “But here we are.”

I almost laugh, then spit as more white liquid dribbles out of my mouth. “What is this shit?”

“The Zertrenner,” Hailey says. “It’s untethering your soul from the four major points.” She touches her clavicle, her belly button, and each of her shoulders in turn—all the places where I thought I felt something snap.

“It chews away at the anchors,” she goes on. “What you choke up is the leftovers.”

“My ring? The lines on my palms?” I ask, and Widow looks away, aware that she’s been misleading me the whole time, telling me half-truths and white lies.

“You said you needed your ring, Typhus made it happen. Your palms, I’m guessing he was learning you, absorbing a little bit every time you turned the egg.”

Just like my blood.

Just like my tears.

He was learning me, little by little, getting small tastes of who he would become, the girl he would consume when the time came.