Page 60 of The Fall Fix Up

“I wasn’t sure if you would answer after,” he replied, nerves getting the better of him. Grown man or not, this was awkward and uncomfortable, and he wasn’t even sure what he was hoping to accomplish by having this conversation. All he knew was hearing Janae wanting to fight for him combined with Vini’s frustration at the situation still not being resolved had lit something inside him. There was just too much at stake for Aiden to bury his head in the sand.

A waitress came by to take their order, and though he wasn’t particularly hungry, he knew having this conversation on an empty stomach wouldn’t be the best. Once they were alone again though, the mood stayed awkward in a way he was quickly becoming familiar with.

“I’ll always answer if you call,” Rowan said, breaking the ice again. “Despite everything, you’re my little brother and I love you. I was never upset with you.”

“Yeah,” he breathed out. “I just don’t know how to go about doing all this. I’m not great at talking and feelings.”

“Well, you called me so you’re already doing loads better than . . .” She trailed off, and Aiden knew immediately who she was talking about. Strangely enough, he didn’t feel the need to push back on her words though. When he really thought about it, she wasn’t wrong.

The last handful of conversations he’d had with their dad had all been initiated by him. Aiden wondered for the first time if there was a reason for that.

“Talking is hard.”

Rowan raised a brow. “Really? When you were a kid, you used to talk my ear off about anything and everything.” When she smiled, her expression was so fond it brought heat to Aiden’s cheeks.

“Yeah, sorry about that.”

“Don’t be,” she insisted. “I loved it. When you talked, I could ignore all the things and just exist for a while. It was nice until . . . life happened.”

“Yeah.” He nodded.

Their conversation was broken up briefly when the waitress came back with coffees. They were quiet as they sipped them, like they both needed the time to think about what to say. When Aiden looked up, Rowan was staring at her coffee cup.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said,” he started, coughing slightly to shake off his nerves at taking the lead on this conversation. “I know you didn’t leave because of me. I think maybe I always knew deep down.”

Rowan looked up at him. “Thank you.”

“But it still hurts—you having left. I know you had your reasons and I know it wasn’t easy for you to make that decision, but I missed you.” The confession tumbled from his lips and this time, he felt no need to stop it. “You were my big sister and when you left, it was like a piece of me died. I’m still figuring out how to handle those feelings.”

Guilt swam in her gaze, but Aiden knew he couldn’t change that. She was right to say their family thrived on keeping things buried. He didn’t want to do that anymore.

“I know, and I’m sorry for being part of the reason you have those feelings. I should have . . .” Rowan trailed off before sighing. “I should have told you about everything sooner. Maybe we could have fixed this before it got so out of hand.”

Aiden nodded. He took a sip of his coffee before taking a deep breath. “But, we can start now. I mean . . . if you want.”

Rowan’s smile was small but hopeful. “I do want that. I always have.”

“Me too.”

Something inside his chest unclenched, making Aiden feel lighter than before. They sat in silence for a bit, the ambient sounds of cutlery on plates and soft conversation weaving around them. It wasn’t until they were halfway into their meal that Rowan broke the silence.

“So, I have to ask. Who was that woman who answered the door when I came by?”

He blinked slowly before he realized who she was talking about. “Oh, that was my roommate.”

“Really? Just your roommate?” Rowan smiled. “She looked like she wanted to launch me into space when I asked about you. Are you sure there’s nothing there?”

Aiden ducked his head, warmth filling him. “I mean . . . maybe.” When Rowan made a noise, he looked up. Her smile was wider and expectant in a way that felt nice. Talking to her like this was something he’d always wanted, and he felt his words spilling out. “Okay, no maybe. There is something there.”

“I knew it!”

He chuckled at her enthusiasm. “I really like her. She makes things feel easier, you know? I didn’t even realize how heavy things had gotten until I moved in with her.”

Rowan’s expression softened. “I’m loving that for you. Really.”

“Seriously?” He huffed out a laugh.

“Of course. You deserve to have someone who makes you happy.”