Page 38 of Masked Instincts

“I love you. I mean it.”

He leans forward and grabs onto my cheeks, pulling me into him as he crashes his lips against mine. The taste is salty from the tears that he’s been drowning himself in. But beneath the wet saltiness, he tastes like home.

“I meant it when I said you were made for me. We were always meant to find each other. I don’t deserve your love, which I know, but I am going to relish it. You’re mine, Luna. You belong to me.”

He says these words of ownership, but I can’t help realizing he didn’t say it back. Maybe he doesn’t love me. Perhaps the only thing he ever wanted was to own me. I feel my face fall, and his attention turns back to my face. I rise, backing away, but he only stands and follows my steps.

“What is it?”

“You don’t love me back. I’m a possession to you.”

“No. You are mine to possess, to own, to ruin. That much you won’t forget, but you’re mine to love, too, Luna. It’s untraditional because I’m unsure how to, but I love you. You’re the only light that beams through the darkness inside of me.”

Even if I tried, I can’t help the smile that pulls on my lips. I don’t quite care how he loves me, but he does, and that’s enough for me. I had all of these images and dreams inside of my head, wanting him to be better. A different person, even. But it won’t happen. It never will. He’s going to give me every piece of himself that he can, and I’m going to accept it.

“Is Chase okay?” Jax asks. There’s regret in his voice, and I so badly want to be angry, but I can’t find it in me.

“Bruised up with a concussion,” I explain.

“I’m sorry, Luna. I really am,” he says glumly. The way he speaks right now keeps hurting my aching heart all over again. I can feel how sincere he is.

“Chase is going to be pissed. At you and me.”

“Why you?” Jax raises an eyebrow and purses his lip.

“Why me?” I say back in a mocking tone. “Because, Jax, I just confessed my love for you. I can’t turn away, even after you beat not only Noah but Chase, too. I knew the second you came back through my door, I’d open it for you, and here I am,” I bite out.

“I’m not sure what you expect me to say. I won’t get on my knees and beg you to forgive me. Those actions are below me, but don’t forget how your body calls for me, my moon. You rise another day for me, and that’s where your loyalty should lay. Most importantly, don’t forget who you lied to the police for. You’re in school for a job to help people, but you let danger lurk in the shadows. I’m not a good man. You seem to be falling off the pedestal you’re seated on.”

I stare at him. Anger boils beneath my skin, running hot through my veins. “I hate you,” I grind out.

“You should have told me that before you said you love me. Maybe I would have believed you,” he retorts.

This is the Jax that I know—the one who pushes me to my limits before breaking me beneath him. Did he do this on purpose? Seem like he was just a broken shell of someone he wanted to be just to tear me right back down? We stare at one another, and the sound of my heart echoes in my ears. It’s racing too fast, or maybe it’s slowing down to nothing. I can’t tell.

How do I love someone like this?

My head falls back as I stare up at the ceiling. What did I do to deserve falling for a man like Jax?

“Undress,” Jax says unexpectedly.

He won’t win this time. He can’t get me naked every time something is wrong. Every time we fight. I won’t allow it.

“No,” I breathe. He strides towards me in careful, slow steps.

“Clothes. Off.”

“No!” I say louder. I’ve said no before, and he weaved past my defenses, but my foot is staying down.

He reaches his hand out to my face, pinching my chin between his thumb and forefinger. I wince at the pain that shoots through my face.

“I won’t tell you again,” he barks. I shake my head as best as I can in his hold.

“Please,” I beg. For what, I’m not sure.

“Do I disgust you that much, baby?” He queries.

“That’s the problem. You don’t.”