Page 18 of Masked Instincts

Chase is still choking. Dramatic, if you ask me.

“I felt something inside of me. I had this feeling that it was you,” she admits softly.

“Our souls were made to be together. We’re made for each other. Can’t you feel it?” I whisper to her, but Chase chimes in.

“The hell? You weren’t made for shit!”

“I’m sick of your tough guy act. News flash, you’re not fucking tough, Officer,” I spit in a mocking tone. “You keep putting your nose into her business and shitting on her for living her life. Consider minding your own before I mind it for you,” I bellow.

“This is insane. You’re insane. I’m calling the police,” Chase announces. My eyes squint as I turn to Luna, who is already looking right at me.

“You better get your boy on a leash, baby. I’ve been real close to snapping just from him being around you. If he picks up that phone and dials that three-digit number,” I stare at her momentarily. She needs to take my following words seriously. “He won’t ever see the light of day again.”

“You’re sick,” Luna spits.

“Says the girl who opened her legs for a man in a mask,” I hiss.

Luna’s body is shaking, and her fingers are balled into fists by her sides. The tension is stolen when I hear my name called from my left. There aren’t many people in this town who know my name. My boss, Luna, Mama, and now Chase.

“Jax!”

“Not now,” I grunt.

“Jax! Behind you!” She shouts. My head whips around as flashing blue and red lights illuminate the side of the buildings.

No.

Please no.

Please tell me this is all just a dream. A really, really bad dream.

I can’t go back. I can’t mentally do it. I will die even if I have to kill myself. I’d rather meet my fucking end than go back to prison.

“Go,” Mama says, but I can’t.

Everything around me seems to stop and go fuzzy. I can’t move. I’m paralyzed. The world fades off, and all I see is darkness. Stars twinkle back at me, and I’m confused about where I am. My heart is beating inside of my ears. In the background of the thumping, I hear muffled shouting and sirens that echo. It sounds like they’re in my head.

Is this real?

This isn’t real. It can’t be.

“Jax, go!”

The scream snaps me back into real life, back onto the sidewalk that my feet have become one with, and away from the spiraling memories and thoughts. Luna’s eyes are wide and looking at me. Chase’s face is coated in anger. Mama looks like her heart is breaking all over as she stands beside me.

Everyone I know I always disappoint. Maybe I deserve to go back.

I threatened Chase’s life not even minutes ago. Luna doesn’t need my love. She needs better than my piss-poor excuse of caring.

You know what? No.

I snap awake. Alert and all attention paid, I run. Officers scream behind me. Demands for me to remain still. How they don’t want this to end badly.

Bullets fly toward me, but I don’t stop running. I run and run and run. The sheer power of will pulls me forward as I weave between alleyways and buildings. My twists and turns confuse the officers until I'm able to slip into my apartment. For hours into the night, sirens never die as everyone in this town searches for me.

Going into the bathroom, I look in the mirror. My reflection isn’t familiar to me, as a man with dripping face paint looks at me. My brown hair is a mess from sweat and pouring rain. I run my fingers through it, droplets of water shaking off onto the counter and splashing onto the mirror.

Pumping soap into my palm, I scrub against my face. Hues of black and gray swirl around the drain. The soap, scrubbed raw against my skin, makes my face red, making the green of my eyes pop more bright. It’s as if I’m staring at myself, searching for the man I once knew for light years before I hear Mama’s soft voice.