Page 6 of Infernal Bonds

2

DENIED

ZEKE

“What about us?”

Rae smoothed her hands across the comforter over her lap, a small divot forming between her eyebrows. Finally, she sighed and looked at me. “I know you like him.”

I could pretend I didn’t know what she was talking about. I spent all my time with Cyn—of course I liked him. But I knew what she meant. She wasn’t stupid, and I’d let her in.

I didn’t think Cyn or my brothers were stupid either, but Cyn and I had spent our entire lives together. We’d always been close, even before I understood what “liking” someone meant.

Still, I thought I wasn’t that transparent, though I suspected Ash knew how I felt.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t wanna,” she said, touching my hand. Only then did I realize I’d been holding the comforter in a death grip.

I let go and flipped my hand over, letting her lace her fingers with mine. “If it’s you, I don’t mind. I just… don’t understand it.”

“What do you mean?”

“My feelings are a jumbled mess. I don’t even know what I’m doing. He’s into women and has a ton of experience. I’m… well, I don’t.” I grimaced, not wanting to think about the women Cyn had taken to bed.

Rae stared at our joined hands. “So… you don’t know if you like guys? I’m a little confused. After everything at my house…” Her body tensed. “Do you not like women?”

“No, it’s not that. I haven’t really liked anyone else before.”

Her stormy eyes met mine.

“I understand attraction, but I don’t know when I first felt it.” I flicked my nails together. “I always understood what it meant when certain parts of me responded to that attraction. I’m not that naïve. But he’s the only one who’s caused it… until you.”

“Wait. No one else?”

I squeezed her hand, and she looked up at me. “No one.”

I appreciated how she didn’t make me confess outright. I wasn’t ready to tell her I loved her yet. A simple phrase, but not a simple meaning.

I didn’t even know if she wanted to be here with us. She didn’t exactly have a choice. But she sealed her bond with Ash… so maybe?

“So you’ve never…”

“Nope,” I said, popping the P.

“Not even with women?”

I shook my head, brushing my thumb over her hand. “I don’t know why, but I’ve never felt the need to do anything with anyone, regardless of their gender—even if I found them attractive. I just… never wanted to. Whenever anyone shows me attention with that intent, I get uncomfortable. I don’t want them to touch me.”

Her attention dropped to our joined hands.

It wasn’t the same. I hoped she understood that she’d become as important to me as the guys. Her touch mattered.

“But the thing is… I don’t get why it matters.”

“What?”

“Not liking other people. Not wanting to have sex with them. I thought something was wrong with me, but Ash said there isn’t.”

“There isn’t. Some people just don’t feel those things. There’s nothing wrong with it.” She glanced at the doorway. “Have you told him how you feel?”