Page 144 of Infernal Bonds

“Don’t talk about my mom.”

“I’m not. I’m saying you were—”

“You don’t get to talk about her.”

“What the fuck?”

I averted my gaze, blinking away the burning sensation.

It didn’t matter that he wasn’t being an asshole right now. He didn’t have any right to speak about Mom after what he’d done. I’d convinced myself I’d let it go, yet the memory of that day in my kitchen on Earth bothered me more often than I cared to admit.

“Raelynn, I don’t know what the hell is going on, but your mom—”

“Stop!” I turned and shoved him back. Caught off guard, he staggered a few steps, eyes wide at my outburst. “You took her from me!”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

I blinked when my eyes blurred, and tears spilled down my cheeks. “You didn’t believe me! None of you believed me! I know why they didn’t, but it still hurt. But you! You took the one thing that mattered most to me. The only thing I had left.”

“I said I was sorry!”

I swiped my arm beneath my nose. “But you still didn’t trust me.”

“I did then, and I do now.” The muscles of his jaw flexed as he glanced to the side. “What do you want me to do? You want me to get on my knees? Fine.”

“What?” I took a step back when he dropped to his knees in front of me.

“I wish I could go back, Raelynn. I wish I could change the past, but I can’t.” His amber eyes collided with mine, and the sincerity in them stole my breath. “I’d give anything to take away the look I put on your face.”

Seeing someone like Cyn on his knees in the middle of the kitchen, covered in flour and looking as broken as I felt, made my heart ache.

He’d always met my challenges with ones of his own.

He was the last person I ever expected to kneel to anyone.

Least of all me.

“I fucked up. It was a mistake—a big fucking mistake. And yeah, I know it’s unforgivable, even if you say you forgive me. You can’t forget it, and that makes it unforgivable to me. But I don’t know what more I can do.”

His hands fisted on his thighs as he dropped his head.

“Giving the necklace back doesn’t fix everything. I know that. But I wanted to at least wipe away the sadness I saw in your eyes whenever you reached for it and it wasn’t there.” He looked up at me. “Even if you can’t forget what I did, please… just… can you smile again?”

I rubbed the tears from my face. “I smile.”

“You don’t when you remember what I did.”

“How do you know when that is?”

“I saw it when you used to reach for your mom’s necklace and it wasn’t there. I see it now when you reach for it and it’s there. You never looked sad back on Earth when you reached for it over your shirt. But now? Now you always have this sad expression.”

Cyn had paid more attention to me than I realized—even before he’d taken Mom’s necklace. He’d seen the grief I thought I’d kept hidden from everyone.

“I know it’s because of me,” he said, eyes boring into mine. “I put that look there. Tell me what it’ll take to put your smile back. I’ll do anything.”

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ILLUSIONS