Page 252 of Infernal Secrets

I stared at the faint tremor in his big hands as he clutched mine.

Knowing such a giant man trembled because he feared what I’d say…

He didn’t have to tell me he feared the outcome of our talk. I smelled it in the burnt cinnamon surrounding him.

“There are ways to sever our bond if you don’t want it,” he whispered when I took too long to speak.

“I want it!”

His eyes widened at my outburst.

I slapped my hand over my mouth, peering over my shoulder, listening for the bedroom door across the hall. When it seemed like Cyn wasn’t going to come in and raise hell, I turned back to Ash and whispered, “I want it.”

I needed him to know that ending this was out of the question for me.

“I love you, Ash.” I pulled his hand to my chest and placed it over my heart. “I don’t get all this, but it doesn’t matter. I’m coming to Elyrdin, and it’s obvious there’s more than magic between us.”

His eyes lifted from our joined hands to my chest.

“Why would I throw this opportunity away? Before those triplets showed up, I thought I’d never see you again when y’all left. I wanted you to go home, but it still hurt to let you go.”

He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me into his lap, wrapping his arms around me.

I sank into his warmth, listening to his heart pounding in my ear.

“Do you remember what I said it takes to seal our tether?”

I nodded. “Our bodily fluids and your alternate form.”

“Life-giving fluids, yeah.”

I’d forgotten that distinction. Now that he said it, I remembered he’d said cum and blood. I’d summed it up to bodily fluids, but I guessed spit wouldn’t work. I’d kissed both Ash and Cyn and wasn’t bound to them—though they weren’t in their alternate forms.

“I’ve never seen your alternate form,” I mumbled. “Can I?”

He leaned back to see my face. “You sure about this?”

“I’m starting to think you don’t trust me much,” I teased, giving his shoulder a shove.

“I trust you as much as I do my brothers.”

The bold, raw emotion of his statement sank deep and warmed my heart.

He eased me off his lap and stood up from the bed.

I’d seen Cyn in his alternate form plenty of times, and Ezra once—well, twice, if I counted the time I’d been delirious, but I didn’t remember much. But from the way Ash looked at me, you’d think I’d never seen another Shyrlivi in their alternate form.

He stood rigid, shoulders rising and falling with each tight breath.

“Ash,” I said, keeping my voice gentle and measured. “I’m not afraid of you.”

He smoothed his hand over his braids on the side of his head and breathed a laugh, tension falling away. “I know.” He shook his head. “It’s you I’m afraid of.”

My mouth popped open.

“Yeah. It’s stupid, I know.”

“No, it’s not. But I don’t understand why you’d be afraid of me. You’re the one transforming.” I crawled to the edge of the bed and sat down, reaching for his hand. “You don’t have to, you know.”