Page 54 of Sing For Us

“Noa, listen to me, as I won’t entertain your bullshit and self-pity.” A cold one replaces Adam’s usual cheerful tone. He is serious, and I straighten myself so I can focus on his nonsense.

“You and Lana are dragging your teams into annihilation. You are letting that fucking asshole win.”

Not Adam as well.

I am so tired of this notion that I am going to let Dario “win.”

“You of all people should know that I can’t let Lana go unpunished,” I tell him sternly, and I take a sip of my coffee. Adam slams his fist against the table, and I am taken aback, not going to lie. He doesn’t explain himself, but neither do I.

The rain is smashing against the window so loudly that all the other noises around cease to exist.

Since Adam is not getting a response from me, he stands up and throws his hands in the air.

“Dario isn’t your and Lana’s biggest problem, you know.”

“Then what is?” I ask him.

“Pride. It’s a dangerous disease, and it’s festering inside of you and her. You need to let it go; otherwise, it will swallow you whole.” He says it so convincingly that I set down my cup and start biting my nails. A nervous habit I haven’t utilized in quite a while. One of the last times I did this was when I…

“Don’t fall into the water. Shit!”

“You s-s-said a bad word!” she giggles at me.

“No, I didn’t!” I bite my nails because I am fucking nervous. If she falls into the water, mama is going to kill me.

Just like Baba, if that asshole finds out we are here.

Suddenly, I am not in my estate but sitting on a chair by a lake, and it’s sunny.

“I am going to call your mom!”

“You are s-s-uch a tattle-tale! And weird!”

“Being weird…”

“…is being cool.”

I blink, and I hear the rain again. My heart slams against my ribs as I’d just broken out of a sprint. I stare at my hand, my thumb still tingling where I’d just bitten it, a cold sweat breaking out on the back of my neck. I can’t for the life of me remember who the little girl was. I don’t remember her face. But the phantom feeling of that absolute, protective terror was still vibrating in my chest.

What the fuck was that?

I remove my thumb from my mouth like it’s poison, and I blink a couple of times. Hoping that it will bring my focus back.

“Are you having a seizure?”

Sara.

Just who I needed.

I motion for her to sit down.

“Before you start, Irfan just called, and he told me that he is in Sarajevo; he wants to go out for a drink sometime.” Sara tells me, grinning. What a nice surprise, and I’m for it.

“Sounds good.” I take a deep breath. “Can I ask you a psychological question?”

“Of course.”

“I just bit my nails, something I haven’t done for almost twenty years. And it triggered a memory. When that memory unlocked, I felt such a visceral physical response. Tell me how the fuck that happened.”