Page 116 of Sing For Us

“Do you want to see him? It’s up to you, and we won’t pressure you to do so.”

“Yes,” I agree immediately. “Can someone let Sara know?”

Isa nods. “I’ll tell the nurse to call her.”

He waves a nurse over and tells her to call Sara.

“Are you ready to go in? If at any point you feel like it’s too much, don’t hesitate to tell me.” Isa is an excellent doctor, but not even his kindness can change how I’m feeling.

We step into the room, and the quiet from the hallway follows into this room.

When I step around the corner, I see him.

My best friend.

I stop for a second and notice how the hospital staff has removed all the unnecessary stuff.

The ventilator is gone.

The monitors are gone.

No one is rushing.

No one is fighting anymore.

Emin looks so peaceful.

I hate that he looks like he could wake up. So why isn’t he?

I walk up to the side of his bed and put my hand over his.

“Emin?” I call out to him. He isn’t answering, even though it looks like he is just sleeping.

“Hey, I’m here.” I lower myself so I am close to his face. I study his eyes, nose, and lips—remembering them.

“Why? Why? Why’d you leave?” I’m starting to raise my voice because the absurdity of him being here and not being here is astounding.

Why can’t he wake up?

Then the realization is starting to really kick in.

He won’t wake up.

“Hey, come on, I am here. Please, let your heart beat again. I won’t leave. I promise. I’ll do anything you tell me to do.”

“Lana…” I hear Isa’s voice faintly in the background. He puts his hand on my shoulder, but I move it so he isn’t touching me.

The descent starts.

My hands start to tremble, and I can’t hold his hand anymore.

He isn’t returning my touch, and that has me feeling nauseous. I feel sick to my stomach, and that heavy feel travels upwards—it’s crushing my chest, and I can’t breathe. I’m standing here, and he isn’t opening his eyes.

“Please open your eyes. I want to look into the eyes of the person who means everything to me.”

“Lana.”

“NO!” I push Isa off me and start hitting Emin’s body with my hands. I need him to wake up. Why won’t he wake up? He can’t just leave me all alone in this place. He had so much more to accomplish.