Page 77 of Fourplay & Fatalities

WouldLetAviRuinMe: Who’s talking about the babies? We all know who’s begging to be disciplined in that house and it ain’t the kids.

Wow. The entire world really knew every one of his kinks. He took a bigger sip from his glass, then another. It wasn’t like there hadn’t been an entire press release and a 60 Minutes interview about it. But seeing people argue about it in the comments was something else entirely.

“All the comments say Asa has to be the disciplinarian,” Zane said. “You couldn’t be more wrong. They have him wrapped around their tiny fingers.”

“I’m the disciplinarian,” Felix said haughtily. “Everyone else lets them get away with murder…so to speak.”

“What are we supposed to do? Say no?” Avi asked.

“Yes,” Zane and Felix said in unison, both sounding exasperated.

“Have you seen those cute little faces? They look too much like you, kitten. I can’t say no to you either,” Avi defended, turning his pleading glance into the camera.

“That’s true,” Felix admitted. “They are the cutest children alive.”

Avi rolled his eyes. “Whatever. That’s why there’s four of us. You get to be the mean ones and Asa and I are the fun ones. Everybody wins.”

TinfoilTiara: Would you ever consider doing a reality show, Kardashian style?

Zane pointed out the comment to Felix, laughing as he tried to imagine a television crew following them around day and night. “That’s a hard pass for me.”

“Yeah, the world isn’t ready for that,” Felix agreed, then leaned forward, scanning the questions. “How do we handle jealousy in a relationship with four people?” he murmured. “A relationship?” he asked, feigning confusion. “I’ll assume you mean friendship.” He turned to glance at the other three. “Well, how do we handle it?”

“Poorly,” Zane said. “Next question.”

Felix grinned, his wide smile blinding on camera. “Now, Zaney, we promised to answer properly. We schedule check-ins. Emotional transparency helps. We’ve tried to go about it diplomatically, but that…didn’t go well.”

Zane remembered the cuddle hierarchy chart debacle and the color-coded sex chart—yep, they’d tried it. Didn’t go well was an understatement. If people thought toddlers didn’t like rules or organization, they’d never seen Asa and Avi when they were denied pretty much anything.

“Jealousy dies when you realize nobody else could survive living with these two,” Asa said with a smirk, pointing between Zane and Felix.

“Right, we’re the problem,” Felix said, rolling his eyes.

Zane poked his husband in the ribs. “Do you see what I have to put up with?”

Sometimes, Zane hated their public personas. It felt like putting on a suit that was too tight. They were caricatures of themselves. That was the only way Zane could describe it.

“Who’s the most dominant?” Avi read, then snapped his mouth shut when he realized he’d voiced that question out loud.

“Depends? What room are we in?” Felix asked with a smirk, taking another sip of his wine.

Here we go.

Zane picked up his glass—water goblet, really—and downed the second half in one go, making Avi snort.

Asa leered into the camera. “Zane knows the answer. I’m sure you all do.”

“Pass,” Zane said, the word slightly slurred. A million comments scrolled with thumbs down and people reminding him that he’d promised to be honest. “Okay, fine. Avi? Who do you think is the most dominant?”

Avi appeared to ponder it for a moment, then said, “Spiritually? Felix. Technically? Asa.”

Zane took Felix’s glass from his nimble fingers, then drained that, too.

“Pace yourself, Lois,” Asa warned. “You know how loose-lipped you get when you drink.”

Zane slow-blinked at his husband. “That ship ‘as sailed…”

People started commenting with wine glass emojis, encouraging Zane to keep going. Felix took the bottle from the table and refilled both their glasses, clinking his with Zane’s. “In for a penny or however that expression goes.”