Page 14 of Craving Red

This is the flip side of how I operate. I pull her into these elaborate, all-consuming experiences because quiet romance never feels like enough to show her what she means to me. I need to orchestrate and control the board, but I also wonder if I push it too far. If my need to manipulate every variable makes me… too much.

I turn her in my arms so she’s sitting sideways in the tub, facing me.

“Oh, Alex. I’m so sorry, baby,” I say, my voice dropping. “I wanted to give you this grand, cinematic chase, and I forgot that—”

“Jo—”

“I know I can be a lot,” I admit, my thumb brushing over her wet cheekbone. “The games, the intensity… you don’t have to play along just to appease me.”

Alex pulls my hand away from her waist and brings my palm flat to her chest, over her heartbeat.

“Hey,” she says, her tone slipping into a commanding register. “I know how to tell you no.”

“Good.” I lean in and press my forehead against her head. “I was aiming for playful foreshadowing. The light fading, the woods getting darker… ”

“Once I saw the safe word on the next note, I figured it out.” She traces the line of my jaw. “But you know how my brain works. It likes to present the worst-case scenario first.”

“I promise, there are no worst-case scenarios with us,” I say, kissing her on the lips. “No bad news. Just me, completely obsessed with you.”

A teasing glint returns to her eyes.

“I can’t help it,” I continue. “You turned me into a romantic. But I promise to be more careful next time.”

“Next time?” Alex raises an eyebrow. “I’m not gonna make the same bad decision twice.”

I lean back, admiring her flushed, beautiful face. “Darling, I intend to be your favorite bad decision for the rest of our lives.”

Alex laughs, leaning forward to steal a kiss that tastes like salt and ketchup. “You were never a bad decision, Jo. Not once.”

“Good,” I murmur against her lips. “Now, let’s eat. I am famished.”

We eat in a slow, companionable quiet, the water cooling around us. I top it up with the hot tap once.

“Thank you for today,” she says after a while.

“You already thanked me. Loudly.”

She twists in the water and lifts her hand to my cheek. “Josephine.”

“Alexandra.” I turn my face into her palm and kiss the inside of her wrist. “Think we should get out before we turn into prunes?”

Alex makes a soft sound of protest. “Mm. No.”

“Yes.”

I ease her forward and stand first so I can help her up. Water cascades off me, but I ignore the chill in the air. Alex takes my hands, letting me pull her up. I wrap a warm towel around her shoulders, pulling her close and rubbing her down with gentle, sweeping motions. Once she’s mostly dry, I guide her to sit on the closed toilet lid. I reach into the cabinet for her hydrating body cream and kneel in front of her.

“Mmm, that’s cold,” she shivers as I work the rich lotion into her skin.

My thumbs massage the tension out of her calves and move upward. When I reach her upper thighs and hips, my touch lightens to a feather-light caress. I carefully apply the cream over the pink lines, making sure the skin is hydrated so it will recover nicely. Her head falls against the wall, a sleepy sigh escaping her lips.

I cap the lotion and set it aside. “Come on. Bedtime.”

“I don’t think my legs work anymore,” she admits, a lazy smile curving her lips. “You might have actually broken me, babe.”

“A tragic casualty,” I tease.

Without hesitation, I slide one arm under her knees and the other around her back, scooping her up into my arms. She loops her arms around my neck, burying her face in the crook of my shoulder.