Page 84 of Ash and Poison

“When my foster parents left the house. It was the best part of our lives.”

“They hurt you?”

“They did. He did.”

He reached for my hand and stopped when I jerked away. His hand just stayed there… waiting, giving me a choice, and after a minute, I put mine over his.

“Our foster father. Most nights, he’d push me against the bed, his hands on my mouth, telling me I deserved to be punished for wearing that short skirt. And then our foster mother would walk me to the bathroom, pour cold water over my head, and rub my skin raw until she was satisfied I was cleansed.” I bit my lips, and he held my hand tighter. “She’d tell me to pray for forgiveness because I’m the devil’s spawn.” I laughed. “She’d tell me I’m going to hell.”

“I want to fucking kill them. Where are they now?”

“We already sent them both to hell.”

“You killed them?”

“Yes.”

I told him then, I told him something I had never told anyone, knowing he’d not betray my trust.

“God doesn’t love the child of Satan. You’re going to hell.” She would cry as she’d pour more cold water down my body. The fresh wounds would sting from the water and her nails.

“Fuck you, Martha. You’ll be the one going to hell. I-I’ll be in heaven.”

“Shut up, girl. Shut up,” she’d scream in my face.

“You shut the fuck up, you useless woman. Go rub your husband with that bar of soap. He’s the piece of shit who is dirty. Not me, not my sisters.”

Slap.

“You’ve no respect for your elders, girl, and Trina and Layne are not your sisters. Look at your skin and theirs.”

“Oh, fuck off, you persnickety bitch. You’re a sad, worthless woman. It must be a pathetic life to live… giving excuses for your husband.”

Martha would scream and sob, but she wouldn’t stop rubbing my body. She’d rub until she was sure I was clean, until my privates were clean, and then she’d slowly grab me by my hair, pulling me closer until her nose was against my skin.

She’d smell my clean skin, and her hands would tremble. I knew she wanted to touch me as her husband did, but she wouldn’t, and then she’d run out of the door, cursing at me for being the spawn of the devil, for being a temptress, leaving me naked and cold.

I took in a deep breath as his fingers curled around mine, keeping me steady.

“Saying sorry will never be enough. But had they lived, I’d… show them hell.” I smiled a little as he wiped my tears, pulling me up from the chair, his fingers soft on my skin. “You did good. Men and women like them shouldn’t be allowed to live.”

We stood in silence for a while before I took a calming breath.

“So… how’d you find out about Dr. T? He’s why you came here, right?”

Asher nodded, his eyes grave.

“Riley’s letter.”

I gasped. “She wrote to you.”

“Yes. We used to write to each other until we didn’t. And then one day… out of nowhere, I got a letter.” He took a deep breath. “It was a suicide note. If only I had come a little sooner…” Asher took a sharp breath, his jaw rigid. “I could have saved her.”

“It’s normal to feel that way, but you have to move on, Asher. It’s the only way you’ll get through this.”

“I will. After I destroy the monster who ruined her.”

“Where are the letters now?” I asked, knowing that it wouldn’t be in his room. The orderlies would have found them on their routine check if he had kept them in his room.