Page 152 of Wicked Villain

I place my palms down on the table. “What if it doesn’t work? And... and then there’s Lev.”

It’s not the first time I’ve asked this question, but it’s the first time I’ve said my husband’s name with any sort of emotion that wasn’t disgust. At least to my mother.

And she notices. Mama doesn’t miss a beat. She gives me a thin stare, eyes narrowed, lips pursed.

“What about him, sweetheart?”

There’s no way I can tell her that I somehow caught feelings for my husband. She won’t understand.

“He isn’t the man I thought he was. He’s been kind to me, and…” I hesitate. “I’m not sure I want to leave him anymore.”

Mama’s skin turns a ghostly shade of white, and I can tell from the faraway look in her eyes she knows I’m hedging around the truth.

“Cara mia, what are you truly saying to me?” Her stare intensifies. “Please do not tell me you want to stay with him.”

Her voice is slightly too loud.

“Mama, I’m just...”

She studies my face for a moment longer, making her assessment of me. Not judgment, but with understanding. “You have feelings for him.”

The statement shouldn’t catch me off guard, but it does. My lips part to answer, but the words don’t come.

I’m not exactly sure what to say to her, seeing as how I haven’t entirely accepted the truth myself.

Mama reaches for my hand again, covering it with the warmth of hers. “My dear daughter, I never wanted to be the kind of mother who couldn’t share in your happiness if you ever fell in love, but I don’t think that what you feel for this demon is love. It can’t be. I feel like you’re merely besotted with a perception he may have given you as a means of control.”

“Mama, it’s not like that.”

“Forgive me, but I can’t see it.” She shakes her head. “I can’t see it any other way. Has he told you that he’s decided to look at you differently despite your father’s crimes against him?”

Something stings inside me. “No… he hasn’t.”

“Has he declared any love for you?”

Lev? Love? Not in a million years. “No.”

“I just had to ask his guard if I could have lunch with my daughter. That tells me things are very much the same.” She gives my hand a squeeze. “Your marriage is built on revenge and power. He took you because of what you are worth to your father.”

My hands tremble beneath hers. “I know.”

“Men like Lev don’t change. They can’t. They’re incapable of change. You just get used to them.” She holds my gaze, steady and unwavering. “I want more for you. You’re just a pretty face to him. A sweet, innocent young woman he can control. You deserve so much more.”

“Mama—”

“No, listen to me. You deserve love. You deserve to be loved by someone who will always put you first. Most of all, I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did. I won’t sit back and watch my precious girl walk the same path I walked when I first met your father. I was in love, too. So, so in love and ready and willing to be a wife.” She sniffles. “I believed all his lies. My heart was so broken when I first saw what he was truly like. I’d barely given birth to you and your sister when I caught him in bed with one of his whores.”

My throat closes. I didn’t know that. I assumed the cheating started years after Gabrielle and I were born. But why am I even surprised? Nothing should surprise me about my father at this point.

“I’m sorry, Mama,” I offer, although I know she’s been through too much to forgive. Too much to forget.

“I just want the best for you.” A tear streams down her cheek, the sight gripping my insides. She lets me go, reaches into her bag to get a tissue, and dries her cheeks. Then she focuses on me again. “This needs to happen. We need to leave. Apart from everything I’ve said, your husband believes a lie. He believes you are Gabrielle D’Auria, heir to your father’s empire. But you are not. You are Allegra.”

She doesn’t have to say anything more to me. Silence hangs between us with all the unsaid truths weighing it down.

The fact that Allegra D’Auria is supposed to be dead and she is worth nothing.

Everything Papa owns is in Gabrielle’s name. In a few weeks, when I turn twenty-one, I’ll gain control of it—but only as her. As Allegra, I’m still dead. Still worth nothing.