Page 56 of Conquer the Highlander

“Where is Esme?” he asked, prying some woman’s hand out of his hair. “I saw her heading in this direction. Where is she?”

He was trying to get away from a mob of women who just wouldn’t let him go, and Isadora and Lilia ran to his aid. They began slapping hands away and shoving women aside, pulling Titus free of his adoring throng. Wisely, they pulled him into the crowd of men who were waiting for their payoffs, blocking the women who were following.

“She knows, Titus,” Isadora said as she dragged Titus through the crowd. “She wanted tae see ye as ye came out of the staging area, but she saw all of those women waiting for ye and she heard some speaking about sharing yer bed.”

They were nearly through the crowd at that point, but Titus came to a halt. He had an expression on his face that Isadora had never seen before, something between horror and dismay. The supremely confident and arrogant warrior wasn’t at all himself.

The arrogance was gone.

“She…” he began, stopped, and started again. “She heard them speaking of me?”

Both Isadora and Lilia nodded. “It wasna very nice what they said,” Isadora said. “They said ye were a rutting bull in bed, hung like a stallion. She heard it all.”

Titus stared at her, the impact of those words hitting hard. At any other time, he would have been proud to know how women spoke of him, but now…

Now, he wasn’t so proud.

It certainly wasn’t anything he wanted Esme to hear.

He started to look around, frantically. “Where did she go?”

“She ran off,” Lilia said. She put her hand on him, forcing him to look at her. “Titus, I’ve spent the past two days with Esme and I believe the lass feels something for ye. She looks at ye as some kind of hero, a savior, and it never occurred tae her that ye have all the failings of a mortal man. I’m not judging ye for what ye do with yer life because it’s yer life, but Esme dinna know ye had that side tae ye. I believe she thought ye tae be perfect and chaste, and when she heard those women, she was hurt. She ran off in tears.”

“Christ,” he hissed, closing his eyes briefly. “I must find her. I must explain.”

“Explain what?” Isadora wanted to know. “Titus, dunna just explain tae her. Be honest with her. If ye want tae keep on with the parades of women in yer bed, then ye need tae tell her so she doesna build a world around the fantasy of ye being a pure and perfect man. At least let the lass know about ye. At least then ye’ll have been honest with her so there are no misunderstandings.”

She was right.

Titus knew that Isadora was absolutely right. Perhaps he should have done it from the start, but it had never occurred to him. He never thought a simple act of helping a frightened woman would turn into something else, something more than he could comprehend. It wasn’t Esme’s business what he did with his life. But coming to know her as he had in just the short time they’d known one another, he knew that he didn’t want her to think poorly of him.

Something else Lilia had said had his attention.

The lass feels something for ye.

Those were the most important words he’d ever heard.

“Do ye really think so?” he asked Lilia. “About her feeling something for me. Do ye really think so?”

Lilia nodded. “I do,” she said. “She’s such a sweet lass, Titus. Realizing that part of ye tonight… it broke her heart. She thought ye were something ye werena.”

He groaned, feeling sick. “I never thought that…” he said, but stopped himself. He could see the expressions on Lilia and Isadora’s faces and he knew this wasn’t the time for excuses or regrets. It was a time for action. “It doesna matter what I thought. I must find her. I’ll deal with the rest later.”

He was off, leaving them behind, as he bolted through the warrior’s village and back to his cottage, praying that Esme was there. He didn’t know what he was going to say to her, but he knew one thing – he had to be completely honest with her. Somehow, someway, her kindness and compassion had done something to him. There was a transition going on inside of him, something that was shifting from selfishness to selflessness.

For once, he was thinking about someone else.

For once, he was caring about someone else.

He had to tell her so.

His cottage was ahead, and he bashed into the door, slamming it open, only to find it empty. He ran back into the smaller chamber, so neatly made up by Esme, and that was empty, too.

She wasn’t in the cottage.

Trying not to feel panic, Titus looked around, noting that Lady Ayr’s fanciful dress was still there, hung up on a peg by the door. The hearth was gently snapping and the cottage was neat and orderly. Untouched. Even the bumblebee in his bowl was sleeping on his flower petals, undisturbed.

She hadn’t come here when she’d run off.