Page 61 of Assassin: Part 1

I push those thoughts aside. No, there’s no time for self-doubt. All that bullshit can wait.

“We’re never going to be normal, Mishka. They’ve made sure of that. We will never look at things the same as someone who hasn’t seen the darkest parts of the world and crawled their way through the muck.”

“No, but I know this is a chance, and I’m not going to fuck it up as long as I can manage it. Maybe it’s different for me because I had a life before this. Before my father betrayed me, I knew what I’d be doing differently from him, and now’s my chance to finally do that. Maybe that’s what you need to consider. You had years to dream and wish, and now you can ensure they happen.”

Cold and dark reminders slither through the deep parts of my mind. The parts I refuse to open. Not because of the pain, but because the rage that still sits with them is far too dangerous to let out.

I hold his stare as I tell him the truth. Perhaps a little too honestly, but I don’t give a damn. “Do you know what I used to dream about, Mishka? I used to dream for death. I was given to Pasha as a gift by Ivan Morozov because he didn’t want an Italian bastard under his roof for one more day. He heard about Pasha looking for apprentices and saw an opportunity for me to die. I was five. And then from there, Pasha molded me into what I am now. There was no time for dreams and wishes. Well, other than wanting to finally find my biological family and kill them all for sending me there, but well, we know how that turned out.”

There’s no shock at my words. His hazel eyes are steady, calm, holding mine. “You really think I don’t know what you went through, Lane? The whispers? The fear when you enter a room? That’s not by chance. He helped you become that. He gave you a purpose, but that doesn’t mean you didn’t dream. You think I don’t know that for the first five years of your life you had a good childhood?”

I move like lightning, launching myself into the air, and he barely has time to dodge the fist I aim at his temple. I land hard in his lap, his breath rushing out in a pained gasp as my boots land in his gut. Gripping his hair tight, I press my dagger tight to his jugular. “Don’t,” I hiss, face an inch from his. Let him see and feel how steady my hands are and just how close I am to killing him. One swipe and he’ll be bleeding out on the floor.

No one will ever find his body.

The bastard’s gaze is still steady, even pained, with his hands loose at his sides. His rigid posture is the only sign it’s taking an enormous amount of control not to react.

“Fine, I won’t mention it again.” Calm, steady. Still no fear. I don’t know if that makes him stupid or brave. Probably both. Especially with how I’m feeling right now. The last time someone made me feel this way, I went on a killing spree.

And I paid for it. Permanently.

“Do not mistake this partnership for anything other than what it is, Mishka.” I let the threat hang.

“And here I thought we were going to be best friends and braid each other’s hair.”

The quip makes me smirk despite the tension. Some of my fury dulls. “I’ll leave that for you, your wife, and her new lover.”

His eyes narrow and he snaps, “She’s not my wife. And I fucking told you I didn’t want her involved in this shit, but you didn’t fucking listen to me.”

I ignore that last part. I’m not rehashing that again. “She might feel differently. Actually, her giant of a man definitely will. What do you think, is she going to tell you he’s better in bed than you? I’ve seen what he’s packing, and he definitely has a couple inches on you.”

He scowls at me. “Fuck off. I don’t care about who she fucks, and you know it. And your obsession with my dick is going to get your ass in trouble if you mention it to that man you want so badly.” He shoves me, and I land on my feet, sheathing my dagger. He rubs at his neck, brushing away the small well of blood. “At least you didn’t give as big of one as you did last time.”

“I don’t need you incapacitated while we’re doing this. What you should be focusing on is the moment you get to reveal you’re alive to your former wife. Especially with how she mourned you. If it wasn’t for that, we know what would have happened. So maybe instead of discussing me, we should look at you? Hmmm?”

He sighs. “Fine, we’ll drop it. And as for Rayea, I’ll handle that. She’ll understand. Maybe not right away, but we’ll get there.” He gives me a pointed stare. “I think out of the two of us, it’s your ass she’s going to beat for all this shit you’ve gotten her involved in and what happened in New York.”

I’m counting on it. A good fight after what I’m sure is going to be a very tense and busy time will be an excellent stress reliever.

That or sex, but that might be asking a little too much of Ilya in that moment. We’ll have to see how things play out.

I wave his statement away. “She’s gotten rusty, I’ll be fine. Now, let’s get this shit figured out and get the hell out of here.” I shoot him a teasing grin over my shoulder as I grab the marker I dropped. “And this time, I can show you how to get out of here without the ropes.”

“If you don’t, I’m kicking your ass off the cliff when we get up there. And whatever you have planned for my area, you better fucking not make it off a fucking mountaintop or some stupid shit.”

“There’re no mountains in your area, asshole,” I state.

“You’d fucking find the one and do it. Am I going to be told where this is so I can at least plan on making sure no one gets in the way or starts asking questions?”

“Once we’re finished, I’ll send you the coordinates. Now, shut the hell up and let’s get this done.”

24

ILYA

“Please, Pakhan, please. Lies. All lies. I have never betrayed you.” The pleas and tears don’t move me. The evidence is unmistakable, and even now, as the pathetic cunt begs for his worthless life, he’s lying to my face instead of taking the consequences like a man. Fucking coward.

“What is the lie, hmmm?” I don’t scream or yell, but he still flinches. He knows he’s going to die, but he’s hoping for a quick death, and I’m not inclined to give him one.